Episodes

  • Make It Happen with Scott Lackey

    Make It Happen with Scott Lackey
    May 26 2026
    Scott Lackey joins Ian Bowen for a deeply honest conversation about resilience, identity, and what happens when life completely breaks the version of yourself you thought you were supposed to become. From serving in the US Army to building — and losing — a multimillion-dollar company, Scott shares the painful lessons that transformed his understanding of success, discipline, and fulfillment. He opens up about the devastating moment investors removed him from the very company he created after securing $3 million in funding, why “make it happen” became the guiding philosophy of his life, and the hard truth that no external achievement can ever fix an internal disconnect. Scott also unpacks the dangerous comfort of broken promises to yourself, the importance of rebuilding self-trust through tiny acts of discipline, and why true wholeness only comes when you stop chasing validation and start facing yourself honestly. This episode is essential for entrepreneurs, leaders, high achievers, and anyone navigating failure, burnout, or the feeling that they’re not where they’re supposed to be. In this episode, you’ll discover: 1. How Scott’s military experience shaped his mindset around resilience and execution. 2. Why “make it happen” became the foundation for overcoming adversity. 3. The painful story of losing a company after raising millions in funding. 4. Why life is never about what happens to you, but how you respond to it. 5. The hidden danger of living through external validation and achievement. 6. How broken promises slowly destroy self-trust and confidence. 7. Why discipline begins with tiny commitments, not massive transformations. 8. The importance of looking inward to create meaningful outward change. Key Takeaways: 1. Resilience Must Be Built Early: Discipline and resilience are tools you develop before life demands them from you. 2. Response Is Everything: Your life is shaped less by events and more by how you choose to respond to them. 3. External Success Is Empty Without Alignment: Money, titles, and accomplishments cannot replace inner fulfillment. 4. Self-Trust Is Earned Daily: Keeping small promises to yourself rebuilds confidence over time. 5. Comfort Can Be Dangerous: Many people stay “comfortable enough” while slowly abandoning who they truly are. 6. Discipline Starts with the Hard Things: Doing what you least want to do first strengthens your character. 7. Failure Can Become Fuel: Some of life’s hardest moments become the catalyst for profound transformation. 8. Love Creates Purpose: Deep connection and responsibility to others can carry you through impossible seasons. Timestamps: 00:11 – Meet Scott Lackey: Army veteran, entrepreneur, inventor, and Ironman competitor. 01:24 – How military service shaped Scott’s approach to resilience and leadership. 02:08 – The meaning behind “make it happen.” 03:19 – Recovering from failures and learning through adversity. 05:02 – Why past wins sometimes lose their emotional power over time. 06:05 – The deeper motivation behind perseverance: family and love. 07:51 – Losing a company after raising $3 million in funding. 10:24 – “It’s never about the event. It’s about how you respond.” 11:17 – Why people fear change more than continuing pain. 12:48 – Building resilience before you actually need it. 13:16 – The shift from chasing external success to finding wholeness. 15:21 – “The more I sacrificed of myself, the more of myself I found.” 16:28 – Facing yourself honestly and breaking free from false identities. 18:05 – The hidden cost of comfort and avoiding hard truths. 19:34 – Rebuilding self-trust through discipline and small promises. 22:23 – Why doing hard things first changes your life. 23:16 – Scott explains the brutal reality of completing an Ironman. Connect with Scott Lackey: Website: https://scottlackey.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/scottlackey1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thescottlackey CONNECT WITH IAN BOWEN:Website: https://watchmemindset.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ianrbowen/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ianrbowenYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@PositivePersistence-ch8fk Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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    41 mins
  • Writing Through Rejection with Jacqueline Lucca

    Writing Through Rejection with Jacqueline Lucca
    May 20 2026

    What if 15 years of rejection was actually preparing you for your biggest breakthrough?

    Ian Bowen sits down with Jacqueline Lucca, an author, artist, writing coach, and host of the Magic in the Ordinary podcast. Jacqueline opens up about the soul-crushing moment of receiving her sixth form rejection letter after 15 years of pouring her heart into a single manuscript, and how she learned to celebrate "no" as a step toward "yes."

    She breaks down the ancient philosophy of Memento Mori (remember you will die) as a tool for intentional living, why vulnerability is not weakness but deep honesty, and the single most important medium you will ever create: your own life. Essential for writers, creators, and anyone stuck in self-doubt.

    In this episode, you’ll discover:

    1. How a 15 year writing project taught Jacqueline the ultimate power of rejection.
    2. The concept of Memento Mori and why remembering death fuels creative urgency.
    3. Why your most important artistic medium is not paint or words, but you.
    4. How to find your rhythm instead of rushing a ridiculous timeline.
    5. The vital role community plays when facing intense self doubt.
    6. How the "Let Them" mindset protects your inner identity during heavy adversity.
    7. Why vulnerability and honesty are necessary parts of the human experience.
    8. The striking parallels between her upcoming novel Heart and real world challenges.

    Key Takeaways:
    1. Rejection is a Stepping Stone: Every no gets you closer to a yes and helps refine your path forward.
    2. Time is Limited: Use the gift of now to create and share what is currently on your heart.
    3. You Are the Art: The single most important thing you will create is your own life and story.
    4. Community Offers Clarity: Others can remind you of your unique strengths when you feel stuck in the dark.
    5. Protect Your Peace: When people try to hurt you, step back and maintain your gentle nature.
    6. Do Not Turn to Stone: Keep your heart tender and open even when intense adversity hits.
    7. Embrace the Plot Twists: View difficult setbacks as exciting turns that make your story far more engaging.
    8. Be Present: Do not let the minutia of everyday life stop you from thoroughly enjoying the current moment.

    Timestamps:
    00:11 – Meet Jacqueline Lucca: author, artist, and writing coach.
    02:02 – The 15 year writing journey and facing harsh rejection.
    06:38 – Memento Mori: remembering your death to live highly intentionally.
    10:13 – Why you are your own most important creative medium.
    12:50 – The absolute importance of finding your personal rhythm.
    16:32 – Embracing total vulnerability and keeping a very tender heart.
    21:27 – Using the Let Them mindset to protect your core identity.
    25:21 – The real story behind her highly anticipated upcoming novel, Heart.
    27:17 – What it actually means to live a truly good story.

    Connect with Jacqueline Lucca:
    Website: https://jacquelinelucca.com/
    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbsmisD3il3BLN2YfvD31fg
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jacquelinerosegold/

    CONNECT WITH IAN BOWEN:

    Website: https://watchmemindset.com/

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ianrbowen/

    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ianrbowen

    YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@PositivePersistence-ch8fk


    Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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    31 mins
  • Rewrite Your Self-Talk with Ly Smith

    Rewrite Your Self-Talk with Ly Smith
    May 14 2026
    What happens when you’re standing on a Hawaiian beach during a dream vacation, surrounded by everyone you love, and you feel absolutely nothing? Ian Bowen sits down with Ly Smith, an award-winning motivational speaker and self-leadership strategist. Ly recounts the terrifying sunset moment she realized she had lost herself completely in the roles of wife, mother, and caregiver. She reveals how she crawled out of that depression using a word-of-the-year (“laugh”) and reverse-engineered that journey into her CANDY method. From the correct way to do affirmations (hint: borrow the belief of your future self) to why “reactor” vs. “creator” changes everything, this is a masterclass for any coach or high-achieving woman who has poured everyone else’s cup dry and forgotten her own. In this episode, you’ll discover: 1. How a “perfect” 23-day Hawaiian vacation triggered Ly’s identity crisis. 2. The difference between thinking a moment and feeling a moment. 3. Why choosing one word for the year (“Laugh”) saved her life. 4. The CANDY method: Clarity, Affirmation, Necessary Steps, Discipline, You. 5. Why “I earn $100k a year” is a useless affirmation, and what to say instead. 6. How to borrow the belief of your “Future Successful Self” (FSS). 7. The neuroscience of the Reticular Activation System and finding “red things.” 8. A memorable way to create when you’re feeling stuck. Key Takeaways: 1. Presence Over Labels: Fulfillment never comes from a title (mom, wife, CEO). It comes from how you show up in the doing. 2. Future-Paced Affirmations: Your brain rejects present-tense lies. Envision your future self who has already succeeded, then borrow that belief. 3. Energy is Frequency: Low-vibration thoughts (“things don’t work for me”) attract low-vibration evidence. Raise the frequency to see success. 4. The 85% Rule: Most people cannot answer “What makes you happy?” because they are too busy reacting to life. 5. Necessary Steps Over Stairs: You don’t need to see the whole staircase. Just the next few steps (Necessity). 6. Celebrate the Effort: High achievers burn out by chasing the next thing without honoring the small wins (moving from the bed to the couch). 7. Take the "C" Out: When you feel stuck in the middle of chaos (Reactor), take yourself out of the environment to see your own brilliance first (Creator). Timestamps: 00:11 – Ly’s journey: From 8-year-old speaker to losing herself. 06:54 – The loss of feeling and identity. "I am just dust with a J." 09:35 – Choosing the word "Laugh" to fight depression. 13:56 – What Ly did when she needed to stop losing her identity 19:11 – Introducing the CANDY method. 29:45 – Why affirmations fail (NLP explanation). 31:14 – Replacing affirmations with envisioning the Future Successful Self (FSS). 36:37 – The RAS system: Red things, blue things, and Honda CR-Vs. 41:30 – The Reactor vs. Creator framework (removing the "C"). 48:13 – Where to find Ly’s free 5-minute reset. Connect with Ly Smith Website: https://www.rewriteyourselftalk.com Free 5-minute reset: https://www.upcyclecoaching.com/5-minute-reset Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/g3mastermind LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/g3mastermind/ Check Out Ly’s Books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B07B419X2W/allbooks Connect with Ian Bowen: Website: https://watchmemindset.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ianrbowen/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ianrbowen YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IanBowenPositivePersistence CONNECT WITH IAN BOWEN:Website: https://watchmemindset.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ianrbowen/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ianrbowenYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@PositivePersistence-ch8fk Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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    50 mins
  • Building the Inevitable with Andrew Sridhar

    Building the Inevitable with Andrew Sridhar
    May 6 2026
    What does it actually take to never think about quitting, even when everything sucks? Ian Bowen sits down with Andrew Sridhar, a Navy SEAL veteran, former Amazon product manager, and executive coach to founders and CEOs. Andrew brings a rare lens to resilience: one forged in BUD/S training, tested on Wall Street, and refined through years of working with high-performance teams in tech. His take on grit is harder to dismiss than most because he lived it before the literature existed. Sharp, science-grounded, and refreshingly honest. Andrew breaks down why grit without self-soothing eventually breaks you, how identity fusion quietly sabotages goals, and what he calls the triple win of lowering your baseline arousal state. He makes the case that most people who fail at their dreams were playing house, not truly committed, and explains why thinking through the suck in advance is one of the most underrated tools for follow-through. In this episode, you’ll discover: 1. Why grit and resilience are related but distinct, and why confusing the two can cause the most driven people to break hardest. 2. The triple win of lowering your baseline arousal state: smaller spikes, faster recovery, and longer stretches of calm. 3. How identity fusion inflates the stakes of every rejection and what presence and self-worth have to do with fixing it. 4. The cognitive distortions that silently block follow-through, including all-or-nothing thinking and why it paralyzes founders. 5. What "playing house" really means and why VCs use it to describe founders who look ready but aren't actually doing the work. 6. Andrew's BUD/S story: what it felt like to never once think about quitting during Hell Week, and what that tells us about commitment. 7. Why imagining the suck in vivid detail before you start is one of the most evidence-backed ways to increase follow-through. 8. The alter ego strategy used by Kobe, Beyonce, and others, and why declaring your identity out loud in the present tense actually works. Key Takeaways:1. Grit Without Soothing Eventually Breaks You: Powering through resentment is not grit. If you never reframe your relationship with the work, the negative load builds until you snap.2. Lower the Baseline, Not Just the Spike: The goal isn't to avoid hard things. It's to train your nervous system to recover faster so you can keep showing up.3. Self-Worth Must Be Decoupled from Outcome: When your identity fuses with any single result, the stakes become unbearable. Your okayness has to be independent of the other party's response.4. Playing House Is Not Commitment: Knowing your LLC structure, having the logo, talking the dream, are not the work. Real commitment looks like spending your days and nights on the thing.5. Love the Suck or Find a Different Dream: The clearest signal that a goal is truly yours is whether you can embrace the unglamorous, grinding, unsexy parts of pursuing it.6. Think Through the Hard Parts in Advance: People who visualize the obstacles, not just the outcome, are statistically more likely to follow through. Romanticizing the destination is a trap.7. Say It in the Present Tense: Declaring "I am an author" rather than "I want to write a book" is not a motivational trick. It's how identity change actually starts.8. This Is a Long Project: Changing your brain, your patterns, and your results takes years of layered effort, not a single hack or a few weeks of discipline. Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction to the Positive Persistence Podcast 00:11 – Meet Andrew Sridhar: Navy SEAL, Amazon PM, and executive coach 01:38 – Grit vs. resilience: why the distinction matters and why hard chargers miss it 03:54 – Presence as the root of all resilience practices 06:54 – Why self-worth is the foundation, and what it means to decouple it from outcomes 09:50 – Identity fusion: how fusing your identity with a result inflates the stakes of every rejection 11:03 – Steps to build self-worth while you're in the middle of failing 13:00 – Cognitive distortions, all-or-nothing thinking, and the "Feeling Good" book 18:43 – Negative arousal states: the baseline, the spike, the slow recovery 23:00 – BUD/S, Hell Week, and what it means to never once think about quitting 26:00 – Playing house vs. real commitment: a VC term everyone should know 31:22 – Why visualizing obstacles, not just outcomes, predicts follow-through 34:14 – The alter ego strategy: Black Mamba, Sasha Fierce, and saying it in the present tense 37:54 – Love the suck: the truest test of whether a dream belongs to you 41:37 – Where to find Andrew and his coaching practiceConnect with Andrew Sridhar Website: https://www.andrewsridhar.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andrewsridhar/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrewsridhar/ CONNECT WITH IAN BOWEN:Website: https://watchmemindset.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ianrbowen/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ianrbowenYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@...
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    43 mins
  • Leading Yourself First with Drew Norton

    Leading Yourself First with Drew Norton
    Apr 29 2026
    What if the work you thought you were doing for your career was actually preparing you to save your marriage? Ian Bowen sits down with Drew Norton, founder of The Everyday Sales Leader and co-founder of The Abundant Man Project. Drew opens up about the terrifying night his six-month-old son stopped breathing, and how the personal development work he had quietly been doing for six months prior turned out to be exactly what his family needed to survive it. From losing 100 pounds to building million-dollar sales teams, Drew's story is about one thing: what becomes possible when you finally decide to believe in yourself. He breaks down his Identity-Purpose-Battle Plan framework, the Language of Leadership, and why a ridiculous belief in yourself will always outperform a realistic one. In this episode, you’ll discover: 1. The night Drew's six-month-old son stopped breathing and how his wife saved the baby's life with CPR she had learned on Instagram months before. 2. Why the personal development work Drew was doing for his career turned out to be what made him the husband his family needed in a crisis. 3. The Identity-Purpose-Battle Plan framework: what you believe about yourself, what you feel called to do, and your plan to move forward. 4. How cognitive dissonance silently burns people out when their actions don't match their beliefs. 5. The belong-believe-become loop: why seeing others do something is often the first step to believing you can too. 6. The Language of Leadership: Acknowledge, Ask, Agree, and how to use it for hard conversations at work, at home, and with yourself. 7. How to lead people and manage systems, and why confusing the two quietly undermines most leaders. Key Takeaways: 1. Lead Yourself First: You cannot consistently lead others through what you haven't worked through yourself. Self-leadership is the foundation of everything.2. Belief Before Action: Trying to build new habits without changing your underlying identity is exhausting. Start with who you say you are.3. Belong, Believe, Become: Community accelerates belief. When you see someone else do it, your own ceiling quietly lifts.4. Expectations Disappoint, Agreements Deliver: Most relational friction comes from unexpressed expectations. Clear agreements with timelines and standards fix that.5. Purpose Over the Grind: Chasing outcomes while deferring presence is a tax on the people you love. Put purpose in the middle of what you do daily.6. Ridiculous Beats Realistic: A belief that's too big will still get you farther than one that's safely small. Err on the side of ridiculous.7. Your Inner Voice Isn't You: The limiting thoughts you hear are programming, not truth. Saying them out loud often reveals how little they deserve.8. The Four Pillars Check: If something feels off in your life, look first at faith, family, fitness, or finance. The answer is usually in one of those four. Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction to the Positive Persistence Podcast 00:11 – Meet Drew Norton: sales leader, coach, and founder of The Abundant Man Project 01:05 – The night Drew's son stopped breathing and what happened next 04:01 – How six months of personal development made Drew the husband his family needed 05:15 – Before you lead others, you have to lead yourself 07:50 – The Identity-Purpose-Battle Plan framework 09:13 – Cognitive dissonance: why misaligned beliefs burn people out 11:58 – How Drew lost 100 pounds by starting with one belief 13:18 – Belong, believe, become: the loop that builds real identity 18:39 – Leadership is a choice, not a title 25:46 – The four pillars: faith, family, fitness, finance 28:51 – Purpose over the grind: why deferring presence costs more than you think 32:06 – The Language of Leadership: Acknowledge, Ask, Agree 37:16 – Replace realistic with ridiculous: Drew's one piece of advice 39:41 – Where to find Drew and The Abundant Man ProjectConnect with Drew Norton: Website: https://www.theeverydayssalesleader.com/ The Abundant Man Project: https://www.abundantmanproject.com/ CONNECT WITH IAN BOWEN:Website: https://watchmemindset.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ianrbowen/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ianrbowenYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@PositivePersistence-ch8fk Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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    41 mins
  • The Surprising Power of Imagination

    The Surprising Power of Imagination
    Apr 22 2026

    When did you stop dreaming without limits? In this solo episode, Ian Bowen gets personal about the superpower most adults quietly abandoned somewhere between childhood and real life: imagination. Drawing from the four weeks he spent paralyzed from the chest down in a hospital, Ian shares how vivid, emotion-charged visualization became the engine behind a 13-year comeback he refused to quit on. This is a short, sharp reminder that imagination is not a childish indulgence. It is a tool, and if you have stopped using it, now is the time to pick it back up.

    In this episode, you’ll discover:

    1. Why adults quietly stop using their imagination and how fear of failure is almost always the reason.
    2. What Ian was imagining from a hospital bed, paralyzed from the chest down, and why it mattered.
    3. How vivid mental pictures paired with emotion can begin pulling your desired future toward you.
    4. The reticular activating system: what it is and why obsessing over your goal makes the right resources appear.
    5. Why your dream may take 13 years, not overnight, and why that is not a reason to abandon it.
    6. How to revive your imagination starting today, even if it has been dormant for years.

    Key Takeaways:

    1. Imagination Is a Tool, Not a Luxury: Adults who stop dreaming don't lose their potential. They just stop activating it.
    2. Fear Kills the Dream Before It Starts: Most people cut off their biggest goals before giving them a real chance. The threat isn't failure. It's quitting early.
    3. Emotion Makes Visualization Work: A mental picture alone is not enough. Connecting to how achieving your goal will feel is what makes it magnetic.
    4. Your Brain Will Find What You're Looking For: The reticular activating system filters reality based on your focus. Point it at your dream and useful things start appearing.
    5. Long Obedience, Aggressive Patience: Imagination without staying power fades. Keep the dream vivid and keep doing the work, even when results are slow.
    6. What You Put Out Comes Back: The universe rewards obsessive clarity about what you want. Start with the picture. Stay with it.

    Timestamps:

    00:00 – Introduction: another solo cast with Ian
    00:16 – Remember how you used to dream as a kid
    01:00 – The moment adults stop using their imagination
    01:55 – Fear is what cuts the dream short before it forms
    02:41 – Four weeks paralyzed from the chest down: Ian's personal story
    03:10 – How keeping the dream alive made a 13-year comeback possible
    03:57 – The reticular activating system: why obsessing over your goal rewires what you notice
    05:10 – Paint the vivid picture: sight, sound, feel, taste
    05:38 – Long obedience in the same direction with aggressive patience
    05:53 – Dreaming isn't just for kids. Don't sleep on it.

    CONNECT WITH IAN BOWEN:

    Website: https://watchmemindset.com/

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ianrbowen/

    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ianrbowen

    YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@PositivePersistence-ch8fk


    Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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    7 mins
  • Mindset for Body Image with Jay Nelson

    Mindset for Body Image with Jay Nelson
    Apr 15 2026
    What if the body you built was always about something deeper than how you look? Ian Bowen sits down with Jason Nelson, founder of Body Image Fitness, who grew up as a 125-pound country kid in Trinidad and Tobago, getting pinned in arm wrestling. One curious moment with a barbell sparked a new identity and a career spent helping others do the same. Jason covers navigating racism in the US fitness industry, why women are failed by conventional medicine, the science of strength training for longevity, and a phrase that should stop every coach cold: disempowered expectations always end in retreat. Practical, honest, and packed with memorable one-liners. Essential for coaches, fitness professionals, and anyone ready to stop waiting to feel ready. In this episode, you’ll discover: 1. The 125-pound country boy origin story and how one arm wrestling loss launched a lifelong mission. 2. Why evidence from your past is the best compass for your next step forward. 3. How Jason turned a racist client rejection into rocket fuel for mastering his craft. 4. The biggest gap in how women are supported in fitness, and why "just exercise more" is a dismissal, not advice. 5. The difference between contributing and determining circumstances, and why confusing the two keeps people stuck. 6. Why body image transformation is always powered by an internal need, even when the goal looks external. 7. The three things Jason needs from every client before he can do his job: early arrival, consistency, attitude. 8. What a biological age test revealed about his own brain health, and why being lean doesn't mean everything is working. Key Takeaways: 1. Trust Your Past Steps: The evidence of how far you've come is the most reliable fuel for your next move. 2. Pain Is Fuel, Not a Sentence: Use frustration, rejection, and setbacks as a spark to sharpen your skills rather than a reason to retreat. 3. Contributing vs. Determining: Other people can make your journey harder. They cannot determine the outcome. Know the difference. 4. Disempowered Expectations Always End in Retreat: Expect the process to work. Doubt the process and you'll quit before it has a chance. 5. Body Change Is an Inside Job: Physical transformation spills into every area of life because it fills an internal gap, not just an aesthetic one. 6. Fat Loss Is the Entry Point: Metabolic health is the foundation, but longevity requires going under the hood: brain, organ systems, and more. 7. Show Up with Three Things: Early, consistent, and with a good attitude. Everything else can be taught. 8. Goals Come with Inherited Problems: When you set a goal, expect disruption. The obstacles are part of the package, not a sign you're failing. Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction to the Positive Persistence Podcast 00:11 – Meet Jason Nelson: founder of Body Image Fitness 01:34 – From country kid to the city: the school that changed everything 03:16 – The arm wrestling moment that lit the spark 05:57 – Stacking wins and building a new identity through evidence 08:41 – How to step into the arena when fear is holding you back 10:52 – Moving to the US, starting over at 25, and facing doubt 13:12 – Experiencing racism and deciding to become undeniable 16:22 – Women, fitness gaps, and a healthcare system that dismisses them 21:09 – Why "Body Image" became the name and the mission 24:41 – The three client traits Jason can't teach 28:51 – The Human Optimization Project and the longevity framework 31:55 – Biological age testing: what a brain score of 44 changed for Jason 34:05 – Disempowered expectations always end in retreat 38:36 – Goals always come with inherited problems Connect with Jason Nelson: Website: https://bodyimage.health/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaynelson0580/ CONNECT WITH IAN BOWEN:Website: https://watchmemindset.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ianrbowen/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ianrbowenYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@PositivePersistence-ch8fk Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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    41 mins
  • Building Resilient Relationships with Monica Tanner

    Building Resilient Relationships with Monica Tanner
    Apr 8 2026
    What if the way you love your partner is secretly shaped by wounds from childhood you never fully dealt with? In this honest and deeply moving episode, Ian Bowen sits down with Monica Tanner, relationship coach, author of Secrets of Happily Ever After, and someone who came from a long line of divorce yet built the thriving marriage she always wanted. Monica unpacks why so many of us walk into relationships believing we have to earn love to keep it, where that belief comes from, and what it costs us when we never challenge it. From sitting paralyzed on the floor of her closet to rebuilding a resilient partnership, Monica shares the real story behind her work with couples. She breaks down the myth that a loving partner should just know what you need, introduces her practical 3% rule for staying connected through every season of life, and asks the question that could change your marriage starting today: "What is it really like to be married to me?" This is essential listening for anyone in a relationship, anyone healing from one, or any life coach working with clients navigating love, identity, and intimacy. In this episode, you’ll discover: 1. Why coming from a family of divorce doesn't have to define your own marriage and how the generations before us can actually give us an unexpected head start. 2. The root of "earned love" thinking, how childhood experiences wire us to believe we must be perfect to be worth keeping, and why that belief wreaks havoc in adult relationships. 3. What Monica's rock bottom looked like: debilitating anxiety, three kids, a business to run, and sitting paralyzed on her closet floor unable to get dressed. 4. Why you are wounded in relationship and therefore must be healed in relationship, and what the difference is between a partner who supports your healing and one who does it for you. 5. The dangerous myth that a loving partner should just know what you need, and why even 24 years of marriage doesn't make anyone a mind reader. 6. How to turn complaints into requests using a framework rooted in Relational Life Therapy, and why teaching people how to treat you is an act of love. 7. The 3% rule: a simple, numbers-backed approach to staying emotionally connected using just 20 minutes a day, three hours a week, and one trip a year. 8. The one brave question that can unlock a new level of intimacy in your marriage, if you can hear the answer without getting defensive. Key Takeaways: 1. You Were Wounded in Relationship: That means healing happens there too. A partner can hold space for your healing, but self-love is the actual work, and no one can do it for you. 2. Stop Earning, Start Being: The belief that love must be earned is a childhood adaptation, not a truth. Recognizing the difference is the first step to lasting intimacy. 3. Your Partner Cannot Read Your Mind: No matter how long you've been together, your needs change constantly. The skill of making clear, loving requests is what closes that gap. 4. Complaints Are Hidden Requests: Underneath every frustration is a desire. Learning to translate your complaints into requests gives your partner something they can actually act on. 5. 3% Is All It Takes: Twenty intentional minutes a day, three connected hours a week, and one dedicated trip a year is enough to keep a marriage thriving through every season. 6. Don't Wait for Later: Couples who defer their relationship until after the kids, the career, or the mortgage often arrive at that later not knowing the person beside them. 7. Differences Create Passion: Incompatibility is not a red flag. Navigating your differences with curiosity rather than contempt is what generates both intimacy and passion. 8. Be the Spouse You Want to Have: You can't control your partner. You can control who you show up as, and that is the most powerful lever you have in any relationship. Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction to the Positive Persistence Podcast 00:11 – Meet Monica Tanner: relationship coach and author of Secrets of Happily Ever After 01:26 – Growing up through divorce and why that became a strength, not a sentence 04:15 – The "earned love" trap: why so many of us believe we must be perfect to be kept 04:50 – Monica's childhood: abandoned at 12, couch-surfing at 16, and the belief she formed 07:41 – Wounded in relationship, healed in relationship: the framework that changed everything 10:00 – Why your partner can support your healing but cannot do it for you 11:18 – What to do when your only model of marriage was emotionally shut down 13:38 – Rock bottom: paralyzed on the closet floor and the week that turned things around 19:14 – The mind-reading myth: why "if they loved me, they'd just know" keeps couples stuck 21:00 – How to make requests, set loving limits, and teach people how to treat you 25:07 – The manual we all have for others and why nobody ever sees it 27:55 – The cost of putting your relationship on hold until later 32:12 – The 3% rule: 20 minutes...
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    40 mins