Free gift from Stan & Tracey: get an excerpt of Stan's book In Each Other's Care, including the introduction and the full "Fighting Dos and Don'ts" chapter:
https://www.thepactinstitute.com/ieoc-giveaway

"If your driving guiding force in a relationship is love only, you're not going to make it." Dr. Stan Tatkin, the developer of PACT, and his wife Dr. Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, co-founder of the PACT Institute, say love is real, but it rises and falls like the weather. What holds a couple together under stress is something you design on purpose.

Courtney Wren-Mabbutt and Mike Elliott sit down with Stan and Tracey for an honest, funny and deeply practical conversation about secure functioning: a relationship built on shared purpose, clear agreements, fairness and quick repair. They explain why it's not him or her. All of us get difficult under stress, because a lightning-fast threat system takes over before we've chosen anything, and suddenly the person we love looks like the problem.

The invitation: decide together why you're here, plan for your hardest moments, and learn to catch the shift in each other before it runs the show.

Chapters:
0:00 Cold open
2:24 Welcome to The Sacred We
3:21 Welcome Stan and Tracey Tatkin
6:03 It's not him or her
11:43 Mentor couples and pro-relationship teams
15:37 Most couples never design their relationship
16:50 Secure functioning and one crazy at a time
18:32 Shared vision, agreements and purpose
23:11 Return to love
26:45 Protecting each other
30:07 The red wagon: attachment is survival
34:13 Know your partner's nervous system
37:38 Why love alone isn't enough
41:36 Pillow talk after 27 years
45:03 From island to clingy
54:37 Rituals and the touch-toes rule
58:02 Never fight in the car
1:00:40 The "it", the threat loop and catching the shift
1:09:51 Worth it, but hard
1:11:59 Their legacy and the Real Life Report Card

Stan & Tracey resources:
Stan & Tracey (official site):
https://www.stanandtraceytatkin.com/

The PACT Institute:
https://www.thepactinstitute.com/

Wired for Love retreats and workshops:
https://www.thepactinstitute.com/retreats

Stan's books:
https://www.stanandtraceytatkin.com/books

Stan's TEDxKC talk:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kKTsz0OcuI

Stan on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/drstantatkin/

About Stan & Tracey:
Dr. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a couple therapist, researcher and the developer of PACT (A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy). His books include Wired for Love, We Do and In Each Other's Care. Dr. Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, AMFT, co-founded the PACT Institute with Stan in 2010 and co-leads Wired for Love retreats and workshops with him.

Connect With Us:
Sign up for our couples list:
https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe

Bringing the Oracle to Him:
https://www.courtneywren.com/bring-your-oracle-to-him

Rebirth 1:1 with Courtney:
https://www.courtneywren.com/containers

Work with Mike:
https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching

Email: transform@itsmikeelliott.com | relating@courtneywren.com
Instagram: @mikeelliott.relating | @courtneywren.relating

Join Harville & Helen's online Getting the Love You Want weekend workshop for couples, Oct 23-25, 2026:
https://harvilleandhelen.com/calendar/

What if there were a tool to end war in your relationship? Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt, the founders of Imago Relationship Therapy, say the answer is not to work harder on yourself. We are wounded in relationship, and we heal in relationship. The healing lives in the space between you, and dialogue is the tool they have taught to couples for decades.

Courtney Wren-Mabbutt and Mike Elliott sit down with Harville and Helen for a warm, wide-ranging conversation on the practice that changed their own marriage: dialogue. Instead of two people talking in parallel monologues, one person sends, the other listens and mirrors back, and something in the nervous system finally relaxes. They explain, in plain language, why hearing is not the same as listening, and why feeling seen and heard is what makes a brain feel safe enough to open.

Along the way they name the fights every couple knows: the grievance that says "why are you doing it that way?", the unconscious wish that your partner would just be you, and the long road from opponents to partners. They share a story of dialogue used to end a border war between countries, in their account. They talk about why the self-love model is really an individual-paradigm answer, what Martin Buber's I-It and I-Thou distinction means at your kitchen table, and how couples who embody this end up changing everything they touch, including schools and workplaces.

There are practical takeaways too: move at the pace of connection rather than the pace of ambition, use curiosity and affirmation in everyday moments, and remember that the space between you is where two whole people grow. If you have ever felt like you were doing all the inner work and still ended up far apart from your partner, this conversation is for you.

Harville & Helen resources:
Official site:
https://harvilleandhelen.com/

Online couples retreat, Oct 23-25, 2026:
https://harvilleandhelen.com/event/getting-the-love-you-want-46/

Getting the Love You Want (book):
https://harvilleandhelen.com/books/getting-the-love-you-want/

Couplehood, on-demand course for couples:
https://harville-and-helen.teachable.com/p/couplehood-a-new-way-to-love

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/harvilleandhelen/

About Harville & Helen:
Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt co-created Imago Relationship Therapy. They are couples therapists and New York Times bestselling authors.

Connect With Us:
Sign up for our couples list:
https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe

Bringing the Oracle to Him:
https://www.courtneywren.com/bring-your-oracle-to-him

Rebirth 1:1 with Courtney:
https://www.courtneywren.com/containers

Work with Mike:
https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching

Email: transform@itsmikeelliott.com | relating@courtneywren.com
Instagram: @mikeelliott.relating | @courtneywren.relating

Most couples don’t fight about money. They avoid it until it leaks into resentment, sex, and every little decision. Jenn Pike and Chris Borsellino were in overdraft as a lifestyle — two kids, two businesses, ships passing — until they put every receipt in a basket and made money neutral. This is the conversation that shows how.

In this episode of The Sacred We, Mike Elliott and Courtney Wren-Mabbutt sit with Jenn Pike and Chris Borsellino — partners in life, business, and a decades-long experiment in making money safe to talk about.

They tell the real arc: overdraft as normal, Domino’s totals that shocked them, mason jars and a receipts basket, selling the truck for a Camry when pride said otherwise, and the moment looking at the numbers together changed their course. Along the way they name upper limiting when money finally arrives, pass-the-baton partnership, and the daily walks that became marriage therapy.

The teaching under the stories is simple and hard: avoidance is the fight. Structure creates flow. Money gets neutral when you turn toward it together instead of making each other wrong.

Guest resources:
Jenn Pike / The Simplicity Project:
https://jennpike.com/

Jenn on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/jennpike/

Chris Borsellino on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/chrisborsellino/

Finance discovery with Chris:
https://calendly.com/chrisborsellino/60-finance-meeting

About Jenn & Chris:
Jenn Pike is a functional diagnostic nutritionist, founder of The Simplicity Project, and a longtime voice for women’s health, hormones, and embodied living. Chris Borsellino is a former custom carpenter turned financial advisor who helps families get clear on money without shame. Together they model what it looks like to build health and wealth as a shared practice.

Connect With Us:
The 2:2 Couples Container — private, intensive couples work with Mike & Courtney:
https://www.thesacredwe.com/2-2-container-details

Sign up for our couples list:
https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe

Bringing the Oracle to Him:
https://www.courtneywren.com/bring-your-oracle-to-him

Rebirth 1:1 with Courtney:
https://www.courtneywren.com/containers

Work with Mike:
https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching

Email: transform@itsmikeelliott.com | relating@courtneywren.com
Instagram: @mikeelliott.relating | @courtneywren.relating