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In this episode, I am exploring the hidden and often overlooked phenomenon of self-gaslighting—when women dismiss their own instincts, feelings, or inner knowing. Self-gaslighting can show up during pregnancy, birth, and early motherhood, quietly eroding confidence and disconnecting women from their power.

I will break down:

• What self-gaslighting is and how to recognise it
• Where it comes from and why it’s so common
• How it shows up in pregnancy, birth, and postpartum
• The emotional and physical costs of silencing yourself
• Practical tools to unlearn self-gaslighting and reclaim your confidence
• How birth partners can support women to trust themselves

This episode is about reclaiming your voice, your instincts, and your power—so you can navigate birth and motherhood with clarity, confidence, and self-trust.

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner

Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford

Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable for ...

Send us a text

So much of birth preparation focuses on what to do — how to breathe, how to move, how to plan.

But none of that works if a woman doesn’t trust herself.

In this episode, I’m sharing my Ten Commandments of Birth and explaining why I believe inner work is the missing piece in so much birth preparation. I talk honestly about what I’ve seen shift in women since creating Discover Your North Star, and why no breathing technique can undo years of self-doubt.

This episode is about preparation that goes deeper than checklists and protocols — preparation that changes how a woman meets her birth, whatever path it takes.

✨ The Ten Commandments of Birth (PDF) - Download here
I’ve created this as a reflective, practical guide to support the inner work I talk about in this episode. It also includes a version for your birth partner.

✨ Discover Your North Star - Online Course
If this episode resonates, this is where we go deeper.
The course is designed to help you build trust in yourself, prepare emotionally and mentally, and arrive at birth feeling grounded and aligned.

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner

Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford

Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable for ...

Send us a text

In this final episode of the year, I’m talking about something I see all the time in my work — but something women rarely feel able to admit out loud: that the desperate longing for a baby doesn’t always match how they feel once they are actually here.

After more than two decades supporting women through pregnancy, birth, and those early vulnerable weeks, I’ve heard this story in so many different forms. Today, I’m sharing the experience of a mum I met at a recent coffee morning — Emma — who gave me permission to talk about her journey.

Emma had two miscarriages before this pregnancy. She spent months just trying to get to the birth, believing that once her baby was safely here, everything would fall into place. But her birth ended up being long, heavily managed, and exhausting, leaving her feeling out of control. She also struggled with the after-effects of the pain relief she received. And when she finally held her baby, she didn’t feel the rush of emotion she’d imagined.

Her question to me — quiet, honest, and full of guilt — forms the heart of this episode.

Together, we unpack why so many women feel this way, why these feelings don’t mean anything is wrong, and how the emotional transition into motherhood is far more complex than most people prepare you for.

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner

Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford

Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable for ...

Send us a text

In this episode, we dive deep into communication in the birth room — going beyond the widely taught BRAIN acronym. While BRAIN (Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing) can be a helpful tool, waiting until labour to rely on it often means you’ve already been pulled into reactive decision-making. We discuss how true advocacy, sovereignty, and physiological birth are protected long before labour begins, through preparation, clear values, and embodied support.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why relying on BRAIN mid-labour can disrupt physiological birth.
• The limitations of checklists and reactive decision-making.
• How to prepare proactively with your partner to communicate effectively.
• The importance of embodied presence, clarity, and boundaries in the birth room.
• Practical ways your partner can advocate and protect your space and flow.
• How to anchor decisions in intuition and values rather than fear or pressure.

Action Steps for Listeners:

1. Create your own Birth Manifesto, tailored to your values and needs.
2. Practice clear, confident language with your partner for common birth scenarios.
3. Focus on presence, breath, and embodied trust to support physiological birth.
4. Prepare together for advocacy — your partner is your voice and protector when you need it most.

Resources:

• Discover Your North Star course for deeper preparation and tools for both you and your partner.

Key Takeaway:
True communication and advocacy in the birth room happen before labour, rooted in preparation, clarity, and trust in yourself. BRAIN can be a tool, but your sovereignty, instincts, and presence are far more powerful.

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner

Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford

Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable for ...

Send us a text

In this episode, I sit down with my friend and fellow birth worker Jen Culley to talk about the reality that early labour is often overlooked in modern birth preparation.

We explore how early labour is represented on social media and how these portrayals can unintentionally shape women’s expectations in unhelpful ways. While short clips and reels can beautifully capture the moment a baby is born, they rarely show the quiet, powerful, and often lengthy process that leads up to it. Early labour can take hours — sometimes days — and it’s during this time that your mindset, support, and environment matter most.

Jen and I reflect on how, in the past, women would have grown up seeing birth unfold — as daughters, sisters, or friends. That shared experience built instinctive knowledge and trust in the body’s rhythms. Today, many of us enter labour without ever having witnessed it, and that loss of communal wisdom can make early labour feel confusing or even frightening.

We talk about how this lack of understanding can impact the rest of the birth, and why the way early labour begins often sets the tone for how the rest of labour unfolds.

We also discuss what early labour support looks like today, especially the variation in NHS care, where women are often left to navigate this phase alone. Jen and I highlight how the presence of a doula can transform this stage — offering reassurance, practical guidance, and emotional steadiness when it’s needed most.

And finally, we dive deeply into the partner’s pivotal role — how they can support progress, protect space, and bring a sense of calm and safety that allows oxytocin to flow and labour to build naturally.

If you’ve ever wondered how to make early labour work for you, not against you — or if you simply want to understand this phase in a deeper, more realistic way — this episode is for you.

Contact Jen Culley - Instagram Website Memoirs of a Doula

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner

Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford

Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable for ...

Send us a text

In this episode, I explore one of the most delicate and important questions in birth work: Is my lived experience more important than your future one?

So many women feel torn between wanting to share their birth story — whether it was empowering, challenging, or deeply traumatic — and wanting to protect others from fear or unrealistic expectations. But how do we find the balance? How do we share truthfully without limiting what’s possible for someone else?

This conversation unpacks the tension between past experience and future potential. Together, we look at how to reflect on your own birth, what to learn from it, and how to share your story responsibly — so that both honesty and hope can exist side by side.

Key Takeaways:

• Your lived experience matters deeply — but it’s not a template for anyone else’s.
• Sharing your story can help others, but only when it’s framed with context and possibility.
• Negative stories can warn, but they shouldn’t define someone else’s limits.
• Positive stories bring hope, balance, and proof of what’s possible.
• Reflection is powerful: understanding your own birth can help you prepare differently next time.
• Protecting someone’s dream of a physiological birth doesn’t mean sugar-coating reality — it means giving space for hope and autonomy.

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner

Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford

Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable for ...

Send us a text

In this episode, I talk about one of the most emotionally testing times in pregnancy — the waiting game.

When your due date is approaching, or has come and gone, it can feel as though the world is on pause while everyone keeps asking, 'Have you had the baby yet?'

I explore what this waiting period can really feel like — the impatience, the frustration, and the mental tug of war that happens when your baby still isn’t ready to arrive.

I also talk about the pressure that can build when conversations about induction of labour start, and how those offers can influence how you feel about your body, your baby, and the timing of birth.

We chat about the idea that 42 weeks is often considered the outer limit of pregnancy — but how that’s not true for everyone. For many women, birth can unfold safely and beautifully beyond that point. Still, talking about 42 weeks helps shift the focus away from the growing trend of early induction at 39 weeks, which can interrupt the natural rhythm of both mother and baby.

I also share some of the incredible support available during this time from myself, Shellie Poulter, and Kemi Johnson, who all offer services to help women navigate these later stages of pregnancy with confidence and calm. I’ll include their links below.

If you’re currently waiting — or supporting someone who is — this episode will help you find reassurance, perspective, and patience in those final days. Your baby will come, and how you navigate this time matters just as much as the birth itself.

Mentioned in this episode:
✨ Shellie Poulter – Instagram Website
✨ Kemi Johnson – Instagram Website
✨ My Own Birth Support Services - Instagram

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner

Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford

Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable for ...

Send us a text

Have you ever wondered why two women can walk into the same antenatal clinic and have completely different experiences? In this episode, I explore what I call the 'Sliding Doors' effect in maternity care — how the door you walk through, quite literally or metaphorically, can shape your confidence, choices, and ultimately your birth outcome.

I unpack how seemingly small differences in care — the tone of a conversation, the attentiveness of a practitioner, the questions asked — can either empower you or leave you questioning your instincts.

This episode is a deep dive into how chance encounters at antenatal appointments can ripple through an entire pregnancy and birth journey.

You’ll hear about:

• How the same clinic can feel like two entirely different worlds
• Why one interaction can build confidence while another can create doubt
• The difference between being truly heard versus just being managed
• Strategies for preparing yourself emotionally for whatever door you walk through

Listener reflection:
Which door did you walk through during your pregnancy — and how did it shape your story?

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner

Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford

Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable for ...