Ever wondered what happens when two entrepreneurs hit a mid-life crisis and decide that YouTube is their only salvation? Welcome to the maiden voyage of Pitch Decks and Playdates with Scotty B and Big E. This week, the guys are celebrating a 5-and-1 betting streak while grappling with the hard truths of adulthood—like the fact that only 3% of YouTube channels actually make money and that wearing a suit with white New Balance sneakers is a "borderline criminal" fashion choice.

The high-stakes business talk takes a hard left turn into the absurd when Scotty confesses to a solo, post-divorce scouting mission to Dave & Buster's that left him looking like a "creepy pedophile" among the Skee-Ball machines. Between debating the structural integrity of Applebee’s "OM" cheeseburger and the seven-minute physical struggle of removing wool socks during a romantic encounter after age 50, Scotty and Ernie prove that life is just one big, messy simulation.

As Ernie puts it while reflecting on his 11:00 AM trip to the mall: "Who the f* is going to Dave & Buster’s at 11:00 AM? I was having a coffee while they were shopping, and I was just watching people go into Dave & Buster’s at 11:00 AM."**. Whether you’re here for the NFL locks or the "Pigs in a Blanket" support group, you won’t want to miss this.

Click play to join the chaos—your mid-life crisis depends on it.

Is it even "playoff season" if you aren't contemplating the structural integrity of your sofa fort? This week, the guys are trading in their dignity for maximum comfort as they dive into the high-stakes world of "Adulting: Blanket Edition." From Ernie’s controversial "two-queen hotel bed" strategy to Scott’s sudden realization that he has become his grandmother via a shared love for Afghans, we’re exploring the cozy, slightly pathetic side of getting older.

The real chaos begins when the crew analyzes the projected #1 NFL draft pick, Fernando Mendoza, and his... enthusiastic post-game interview. Between Mendoza’s high-octane energy and a deep dive into the absolute horror show of New Year’s Eve adult diaper logistics in Times Square, you’ll learn more about public urination than you ever wanted to know. As Ernie puts it while reacting to a viral clip of the "pee pads" used by tourists: "Scott, you made me angry... I didn't need to see that".

Whether you’re here for the $80 sweatpants debate, the $500 gas bills, or the $0 advertising budget that somehow built this empire, this episode has it all. Stick around for the Week 18 Parlay simulations and find out why the guys are betting big on the Eagles despite their broken hearts. Click play, grab your heating pad, and let’s get naked (on a separate hotel bed, obviously).

Happy 2026, America! We’re kicking off the year with the legendary Big Wurm, who is currently vibrating at a frequency only detectable by household pets and people drinking non-alcoholic wine from Trader Joe’s. While the rest of us are dragging from New Year’s Eve, Fern is busy winning $400 on "pleasers" and explaining how he survived a Tahoe blizzard by essentially holding his children’s attention spans hostage when the internet went down.

From the strategic brilliance of "Scotch-garding" your jeans to go sledding to the absolute tragedy of a $28 bowl of chili, we’re covering the essentials. The highlight? Fern’s "Wurmhole of Flavor" review of Breakfast at Tiffany’s (the San Francisco restaurant, not the movie), where the Eggs Benedict is so good it’ll make you forget your family members are currently standing on the roof for attention.

Whether you’re a "divorced dad" hoping for a lottery win or just a "True Niner Fan" looking for a reason to bet the house, this episode is the chaotic energy you need to start the year.