Heard about co-regulating nervous-systems in a relationship? This is a part of being co-dependent of a partner because You are not able to regulate your own nervous-system. Or You might be used to regulating Your partners, because You needed to regulate moms or dads nervous system growing up.
What happens when mom or dad regulates their nervous systems with the child?
What is a co-dependent relationship?
We have all heard it the romantic way:
“Ineed her to feel happy”
“He makes me whole”
“Im nothing without her”
Nothing wrong with a partners that lights up your day and who cares about you. But if you need them to make you feel more whole, you might need to check in on yourself.
Realizing you are doing it as well? Wanna know how to move on without the crutches?
Does your world crash and burn when he or she breaks-up with You? Well, You might be very dependent of someone else to make You feel good in some way.
And whats this thing with men many times obsessing about the pussy? What is the root cause?
Thanks Matt @somaticconsent for a great chat!
You can find the podcast on Spotify and YouTube: Tommys uni-verse

Being unapologetically me with true values might sound easy but with all kinds of conditionings and coping patterns, for instance co-dependency and people pleasing, its easier said than done.

I had a wonderful and open talk about relating with Matthias Schwenteck, who has been working in this field for about 15 years. He shared some really good information and added perspectives on this thing we call relating and being truthful to oneself.

Below are some important and also sometimes triggering topics we discussed:

- The 3 Steps of manhood -

1. Narcissistic / ego

2. Empathic, compassionate and loving, still not owning the “me”

3. Owning your masculinity, unapologetically me with compassion, safety, empathy and love

- 7 layers of relating -Old concepts like friends, partners, friends with benefits vs the more open and value-based way of relating, without the needy attachments. This is not to be mixed up with “shopping-mode” relating as described in the podcast 😊

- 3 minute game - Are You in connection for/ with yourself or do You get lost in somebody else (pleaser shadows)

- Radical self responsibility

- Consent - Seemen retention

- Relating dynamics - Committing with values

- Brother, sister and lover

ENJOY!

Links:

https://linktr.ee/somaticconsent

https://www.instagram.com/somaticconsent/

https://www.facebook.com/MattSchwent

Vad händer när du går bortom lusten, som så många av oss upplever i början av en relation och börjar relatera på riktigt.

När du slutat ”scrolla vidare” och insett att du vill lära känna dig själv och partnern på ett mycket djupare plan. Vem är jag? Vem är det egentligen jag träffar bakom mina egna illusioner och projiceringar.

När man inser hur mycket man kanske projicerar sina egna rädslor och beteendemönster på andra, så är det dags att vakna upp till illusionen. Att poppa den kan vara smärtsamt, eftersom magkänslan kan säga helt det motsatta om vad sanningen egentligen är.

Hur ser du på din sexualitet och har du observerat om den kommer från en sund plats eller är den till för att kompensera något du känner brist på? Bekräftelse av något slag?

Hur sann vågar du vara i din relation om dina behov? Det är lätt att vi börjar känna in varandra och utefter detta börjar ”adapta” oss för den andre, för att inte göra någon besviken. Det brukar sluta som en ond spiral nedåt istället för uppåt, mot sanningen / kärleken.

JA, jag ska försöka sluta säga ”mmm” mellan varje mening!😊

Häng med i ett superspännande samtal med Li Tadaa!

Instagram:@Lustcoachen

Hemsida: litadaa.com