What happens when your sense of worth depends on being wanted, needed, successful, attractive, approved of, or reassured?

In this episode, Piper explores contingent self-worth: the often subtle ways we use relationships, achievement, social media, and even therapy to answer the question, Am I okay? She examines why reassurance provides relief but rarely resolves the underlying problem, how harmful behaviors can persist even after we understand them, and why repeatedly changing therapists may sometimes preserve the very pattern therapy is meant to change.

Therapy can help us understand where our patterns came from. But eventually, insight has to become action. The goal isn't to stop caring what other people think. It's to stop requiring their verdict before you know what you think of yourself.

#untangledmindllc #UMPodcast #contingentself #selfworth #psychology #counselingtools

Read our blog: https://www.untangledmind.net/post/10-signs-you-ve-outsourced-your-self-worth

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What happens when something true becomes the very thing keeping us stuck?

In this episode of the Untangled Mind Podcast, Piper Harris explores the psychology of half-truths: beliefs that often begin with something very real- a betrayal, loss, painful relationship, frightening experience, or lesson learned through necessity- but gradually become conclusions about ourselves, other people, and the world around us.

We’ll look at how half-truths form, why they’re so convincing, how they become reinforced through our own behavior, and how to separate what happened from what we concluded because it happened. Most importantly, we’ll explore how living according to only part of the truth can interfere with the very thing we’re seeking: healing.

This episode was inspired in part by Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov and a passage that asks an uncomfortable question about suffering: What does it feed?

For a deeper exploration of that question, read the companion Untangled Mind blog, “What It Feeds”

https://www.untangledmind.net/post/what-it-feeds

#untangledmindllc #UMPodcast #Dostoevsky #BrothersKaramazov #halftruths

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Therapy has developed an impressive vocabulary for some surprisingly straightforward things. Resourcing. State recognition. Emotional regulation. Distress tolerance. Generalization. Sometimes the terminology is useful. Sometimes we have simply put a tuxedo on a coping skill.

In this episode, Piper translates common therapy jargon into regular-human language and looks at what actually makes those concepts useful outside the therapy room. Because understanding why you do something is important, but insight alone does not create change.

Good therapy provides assessment, direction, tools, practice, and accountability. Then comes the part your therapist cannot do for you: taking notes, following through on between-session work, practicing skills before you desperately need them, paying attention to your patterns, and learning to use what you've learned without your therapist sitting beside you.

Counseling isn't magic. It's insight, skills, practice, and repetition. The goal isn't to become exceptionally good at therapy. It's to become increasingly capable of living your life without needing it.

#untangledmindllc #umpodcast #UntangledMindInnovations #therapyhelp

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I turned away a client who had already done the work. They could name what happened to them, understand why it shaped them, trace the pattern into their present life, and what they wanted from me was more sessions to keep going back in. This episode is about why I said no, and about a distinction I think our field collapses too often: the difference between processing a wound and picking at one.

Using the image of a healing scab, I walk through the mechanism behind why reopening already-processed material doesn't add more healing; it just restarts the clock. I share five things I actually listen for when deciding whether someone needs to keep processing or needs to stop and heal, and make the case that this isn't a minor clinical blind spot. It's structural: our training, our business model, and our culture are all built to reward "more," and almost nothing rewards recognizing when something is finished.

If you've ever wondered whether the discomfort you're still carrying means something's wrong, or whether it just means you're in the itchy, closing part of healing, this one's for you.

In this episode:

• Why processing and healing are not the same thing
• The scab analogy, and the actual mechanism behind it (memory reconsolidation)
• The client story that prompted this episode
• Five signs you need to stop processing and start healing
• Why the mental health field is structurally biased toward "more," not "enough"
• What to do instead if you're in the healing phase, not the processing phase

Full breakdown of the five signs, in writing, is on the blog: Why I Won't Pick Your Scab (Even When You Ask Me To)
https://www.untangledmind.net/post/why-i-won-t-pick-your-scab-even-when-you-ask-me-to

#untangledmindllc #UMPodcast #traumacounseling #acuteanxiety #therapeutictools

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The final installment of the Holding Hope trauma series, where Piper Harris educates clinicians and survivors on how the triphasic model works within trauma therapy. Listen in or start from the beginning.

#untangledmindllc #UMpodcast

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Once a foundation of safety is established, many survivors feel ready to face what happened.

This is Stage 2 of the triphasic model: Remembrance and Mourning.

In this in-depth episode, Piper explores the purpose, science, and careful process of reconstructing the trauma story. You’ll learn why traumatic memories are often stored differently in the brain, how painstaking detail of both facts and feelings allows for true integration, and why this stage involves becoming a theologian, philosopher, and jurist all at once.

Topics covered include:

-The neuroscience of memory reconsolidation and why the brain continues processing for up to 48 hours after deep sessions

-The difference between “Big T” and “little t” trauma and when remembrance work is appropriate

-Moral injury, what it is, how it differs from PTSD, and how it surfaces in the questions “Why?” and “Why me?”

-The normal “post-processing slump” and how to navigate it-Red flags for both clients and clinicians

-The importance of pacing, titration, and the therapist’s ability to hold space

This episode is essential listening for survivors considering deeper trauma work, loved ones wanting to understand the process, and clinicians seeking to practice Stage 2 of the triphasic trauma model, responsibly and ethically.

Trigger warning: This episode discusses the reconstruction of traumatic memories, emotional intensity, grief, mourning, existential questions, and moral injury. While we do not use graphic details, the content can still be activating. Please take care of yourself and pause as needed.

Episode 1 in the series: https://youtu.be/IwvwaQJgqL4

Episode 2/Stage 1: https://youtu.be/Am7ao5RZ8ss

Resources:

-Georgia Crisis & Access Line: 1-800-715-4225

-Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

-National & GA Resourceshttps://www.untangledmind.net/nationalandgeorgiaresources-untangledmind-georgia-mental-health-counseling

#untangledmindllc #umpathway #traumainformed #judithherman #traumatherapist #EMDR #prolongedexposure

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Safety is not a warm-up stage. It is the essential foundation of all trauma recovery.In this deep dive into the first phase of the triphasic model, host Piper explores why genuine safety, both external and internal, must come before any deeper trauma processing. Drawing from Judith Herman’s Trauma and Recovery, she unpacks one of the book’s most powerful passages.You’ll learn:-Why safety is the non-negotiable starting point and what happens when it’s skipped-The real, often painful cost of freedom for survivors of prolonged trauma, abuse, and coercive control-Practical ways to build external and internal safety-Common red flags when clinicians rush past this stage and why this mistake can cause real harm-How the triphasic model is not strictly linear, we often need to return to safety again and againWhether you are a survivor trying to create stability in your life, supporting a loved one, or a clinician wanting to practice truly trauma-informed care, this episode offers honest insight and compassionate guidance.Resources:-Georgia Crisis & Access Line: 1-800-715-4225-Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741-National Domestic Violence Hotline & RAINN-National & GA Resourceshttps://www.untangledmind.net/nationalandgeorgiaresources-untangledmind-georgia-mental-health-counseling#untangledmindllc #umpodcast #umpathway #traumainformed #traumatherapist #ptsdhelp

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What if your body still believes you’re in danger long after the threat has passed? What happens when “just talk about it” or jumping straight into processing memories actually makes things worse?In the premiere episode of Holding Hope: Trauma, host Piper introduces the foundational realities of trauma and why a clear roadmap is essential for genuine healing. We explore the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) study, breaking down the 10 categories of childhood adversity (abuse, neglect, and household dysfunction) and what high ACE scores reveal about long-term impacts on the brain, body, and nervous system.Drawing from Judith Herman’s Trauma and Recovery alongside modern neuroscience (including insights from The Body Keeps the Score), this episode lays the groundwork for the triphasic model of trauma-informed care: Safety, Remembrance & Mourning, and Reconnection.Whether you’re a survivor trying to make sense of your experiences, a loved one wanting to understand, or a clinician who calls yourself “trauma-informed” but hasn’t deeply studied the triphasic sequence — this episode is for you. Learn why safety must come first, how the central dialectic of trauma affects us all, and why rushing past the foundational stages can cause more harm than good.Piper shares honest reflections from her own reading of Herman’s book (including margin notes like “Augh. Reading this hurts — It’s true”) and ends with a gentle listener prompt to help you locate where you are in the healing journey.Trigger warning: This episode discusses the effects of trauma, including abuse and household dysfunction. Take care of yourself — pause or seek support if needed.Resources mentioned:-Georgia Crisis & Access Line: 1-800-715-4225-Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741-National Domestic Violence Hotline & RAINN-National & GA Resourceshttps://www.untangledmind.net/nationalandgeorgiaresources-untangledmind-georgia-mental-health-counseling-Dr. Melinda Paigehttps://melindapaigephd.com/-SHARE Military Initiative/Shepherd Centerhttps://shepherd.org/treatment/services-clinics/share/-GA First Responder PTSD Programhttps://gfrptsdinsurance.com/#untangledmindllc #umpodcast #umpathway #traumainformed #triphasicmodel #traumatherapist

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