Showing results for "One for the Books" in Humorous

I almost hooked up with a werewolf… but before we got to third base, he dragged me off to jail. Apparently, he's the leader of the pack in town. The fact that I’m an illegal blood wolf—a vampire/werewolf hybrid—doesn’t help my case. And he didn't appreciate me accidentally biting him when we were kissing, either. Luckily, or unluckily, he seems to think I'm his true mate, which means he won't let anyone hurt me. But he also won't let me go. Between his possessiveness, my need to be near him, and the vampire clan hunting me, one thing's becoming clear:

Waking up in Borella, a world where mages and their mysterious pets rule everything, Magnus discovers that he is no longer a musician, but instead has become the Tower Master of the Crimson Flame Mage Tower. Some might call it an upgrade, but Magnus isn’t so sure. Stuck in the body of a mage who shattered his own soul while trying to bind a powerful mysterious creature who doesn’t want to show its face, he is facing expulsion from his mage tower in a little less than a month.

Absalom Scryne, the greatest wizard of his generation, has been murdered. There's no other explanation for why his consciousness now resides in his well-worn but perfectly pointed hat. Well, he isn't going to take that lying down . . . or hanging from a branch, as the case may be.

The devil paid me a visit and said I was going to one day rule his demonic kingdom. The catch: I have to attend the Infernal Academy, located in none other than Hell itself. Thankfully, I won’t be doing it alone. I’m going to surround myself with powerful demonesses (and maybe an angel or two as well).

What could possibly be the most infuriating thing to a vampire disgusted by the internet? A twenty-six-year-old social media influencer who just ran out on her cheating ex-fiancé and insists on staying in Vlad's quiet castle. But he needs money to repair his ancestral home, and Aubrey needs a place to lick her wounds after getting her heart broken. He is ready to have humans invading his space. He is not, however, ready for her.

Clay Cooper and his band were once the best of the best - the meanest, dirtiest, most feared and admired crew of mercenaries this side of the Heartwyld. But their glory days are long past; the mercs have grown apart and grown old, fat, drunk - or a combination of the three. Then a former bandmate turns up at Clay's door with a plea for help: his daughter Rose is trapped in a city besieged by an enemy horde 100,000 strong and hungry for blood.

With ailing family to support, Evie Sage's employment status isn't just important, it's vital. So when a mishap with Rennedawn's most infamous Villain results in a job offer—naturally, she says yes. No job is perfect, of course, but even less so when you develop a teeny crush on your terrifying, temperamental, and undeniably hot boss. Don't find evil so attractive, Evie. But just when she's getting used to severed heads suspended from the ceiling and the odd squish of an errant eyeball beneath her heel, Evie suspects this dungeon has a huge rat . . . and not just the literal kind.

Five friends, gamers for life, gather for their usual game night. Yet, when they use a strange new die they are transported to a fantasy world where all gaming ideas can come true. Together, the party must join forces to deal with the vile Necrolord whose plans will not only threaten this world, but Earth as well. Should be easy for a team of adventurers, but when gaming and real life meet, there are situations which cannot be anticipated.

'This book is bloody brilliant' V.E. Schwab ‘A ripping read’ Joe Abercrombie The SUNDAY TIMES and NEW YORK TIMES bestseller from the award-winning author of the Nevernight Chronicle It has been twenty-seven long years since the last sunrise. Ever since, vampires have waged war against...

Taken from my old life with little memory of what brought me here, I wake up in a high tech capsule. A wrinkly old elf tells me that my soul is incomplete and has been fused with that of a Solar Dragon to give me a second chance at life. Where? When? An urban metropolis filled with fantasy races, erected atop the back of a giant asteroid. Meteoropolis. And millions of years in the future, to boot. But that's not all. I've got super powers, too. To add to the excitement, I end up hosted by an anxious unicorn elf named Pinky Peach who is basically a professional gamer girl.

I'm Marie—smart mouth, zero impulse control, laser-focused on one goal: getting custody of my baby brother to keep him out of foster care. But when a gorgeous older man at a museum tempts me with a combination of mansplaining and faulty math, I find myself tied up in the basement of an abandoned dental school. Turns out, he was a vampire. And he's turned me into a bloodsucker on the way out. Bye-bye, Harvard. Hello, tiny, creepy night college in Eternity, Louisiana.

In this riotously funny dark romantasy, a conflicted villain and his unstoppable bride form the realm's most chaotic alliance. "What's mine, stays mine." Step One: Kidnap someone cute. Step Two: Force her into marriage. Step Three: Try not to get feelings. When Dark Lord Kazimir Blackrose...

All that stands between rowdy long-haul trucker Jill MacLeod (aka Junkmouth) and her family back in Boston is two thousand miles of asphalt. Well, that and the monstrous game the System has had her playing ever since it descended on Earth. The reward: mana. Jill's goal: kill, score, drive—and stay alive. Behind the wheel of a turreted forty-ton semi named Bertha, Jill hammers east from Montana through a gauntlet of every kind of chomping, hissing, rabid creature imaginable. Barreling forward in her magical soulbound big rig and chalking up a bumper crop of roadkill, Jill isn't alone for long.

I led a quiet life, peacefully ruling the underworld until that mother of *** showed up with her people and angels. They destroyed everything I'd built with so much effort and nearly killed me. But I managed to return! Wait . . . My only disciple and candidate for a new body is a sick kid who's about to die? Are you serious?!

When Kazuya Souma is unexpectedly transported to another world, he knows the people expect a hero. But Souma's idea of heroism is more practical than most—he wants to rebuild the flagging economy of the new land he's found himself in! Betrothed to the princess and abruptly planted on the throne, this realist hero must gather talented people to help him get the country back on its feet—not through war, or adventure, but with administrative reform!

There is another 1985, somewhere in the could-have-been, where the Crimean war still rages, dodos are regenerated in home-cloning kits and everyone is deeply disappointed by the ending of 'Jane Eyre'. In this world there are no jet-liners or computers, but there are policemen who can travel...

A bicycle crashes into me one night, and the next thing I know, I’m a baby? Getting reincarnated in another world populated by humans, demi-humans, and mythical beasts is certainly not the turn I thought my life was going to take. I especially didn’t expect to be carried off by a wolf and given into the care of a one-armed former knight. Now, I’m trying to repay him by rebuilding the family inn and healing his arm with alchemy.

Ça veut dire quoi, « snooze » ? Snooze, c’est une belle gang de colocs. Ouais, mais qu’est-ce que ça signifie ? C’est une fille qui ARRIVE PAS à se lever À L’HEURE . Peux-tu être plus claire ? C’est une rentrée au cégep qui est une CATASTROPHE. C’est aussi un cochon nain qui se dédouble. C’est un groupe d’amis qui finit par se retrouver à la rue. Bref, c’est un appart où il se passe ben des affaires, quoi ! OK, j’ai rien compris. Voilà : c’est pas mal ça, Snooze ! Pis au pire, t’as qu’à lire la série. Je te GARANTIS que tu t’ennuieras pas…

Becoming a widow on my fortieth birthday was not what I had planned. Even worse? It's forced me and my teenage daughter back to Whispering Willows and the life of magic I left behind. I tell myself it'll be a short trip to sell my mother's shop of wishes. Until I kind of, sort of bind myself to the shop. With bills piling up fast, I gotta do something I swore I never would: open shop and start granting wishes, just until I can figure out how to undo this pesky binding spell.

Mikura Moriya expected a quiet and peaceful life in the forest when he inherited his great-grandfather’s house and enormous orchard. Someone had to keep the family business running, so he quit his job and decided to live off the land. But the house isn’t in any old forest...it’s deep in the Beastly Wilds, an area off-limits to most humans. For the Wilds are home to the Beastfolk—neither human nor animal, but something in between. It isn’t long before Mikura meets his new neighbors and makes a pact with a girl with chipmunk ears that will change his life forever.