Showing results for "The Dragon" in Humorous

Absalom Scryne, the greatest wizard of his generation, has been murdered. There's no other explanation for why his consciousness now resides in his well-worn but perfectly pointed hat. Well, he isn't going to take that lying down . . . or hanging from a branch, as the case may be.

Here's the thing about dating dragons: don't. Especially if you're me. My first dragon boyfriend, Zed? Gorgeous, charming... and responsible for the worst night of my teenage life. The ones who came after? All ghosted me when they found their fated mates. I learned my lesson: No more dragons. It never ends well. Fast-forward fifteen years, and guess who strolls back into my life? Zed—older, hotter, and still single. He only wants one date, but he's overdue to find his mate. I should walk away before he disappears a second time.

Are you being attacked by a p--sed-off unicorn? Has an angry basilisk slithered into your camp? Is a dragon about to eat you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this book is for you. Our world is full of monsters. Some of them are happy to live and let live, but the majority of them are vicious jerks. If you want to survive, then you need to know what to do when things go wrong. Don't settle for speculation or the ramblings of a tavern drunk. Get the facts about monsters straight from a legendary hero who has fought just about all of them.

To earn his pardon and avoid becoming yet another necromancer statistic, Timmy has to work for the Council. From bandit uprisings to giant sea serpents and ogre invasions, Timmy and the others are there to save the day—sort of. When the dragon egg their resident pyromaniac stole hatches to reveal the world’s cuddliest harbinger of death, Timmy and the others are dragged into a pair of diabolically dangerous missions. Breaking out of one of the world’s most secure prisons was hard enough. Now, they have to break back in to rescue a vampire.

Taken from my old life with little memory of what brought me here, I wake up in a high tech capsule. A wrinkly old elf tells me that my soul is incomplete and has been fused with that of a Solar Dragon to give me a second chance at life. Where? When? An urban metropolis filled with fantasy races, erected atop the back of a giant asteroid. Meteoropolis. And millions of years in the future, to boot. But that's not all. I've got super powers, too. To add to the excitement, I end up hosted by an anxious unicorn elf named Pinky Peach who is basically a professional gamer girl.

Freddy Stern, a twenty-one-year-old cashier, has lived a plain, albeit harsh life. Having been orphaned—twice—he's spent the last ten years working and staying out of trouble. His only aspiration is to save enough money to become an archhuman. His dream gets the jump on him when he barely survives a near-death encounter and finds himself in possession of 1% Lifesteal, a bizarre talent with numerous contradictions and just as many uses.

A hilarious and heartwarming rom-com with bite… perfect for fans of Abby Jimenez and Mhairi McFarlane! Somehow, inexplicably, her cold skin makes mine ignite, a trail of fire following the path of her fingers until she lets go of my chin and the flames burn out. Undead phlebotomist Florence...

The Dragon King is looking for a wife. The news causes a frenzy for the women in my village. The king will be sending out the royal guard to bring women of childbearing age to his castle in Jade City. There is only one requirement: his wife-to-be must carry enough magic to produce an heir for him. I know I won’t be chosen: I’m only human with a mere ten percent dragon magic lineage, but for some reason the magic sniffers command me to present myself to the king as a possible wife.

After being killed by a high-velocity tree-hug, Arlo is transported to a new world where those brave and talented enough to conquer ancient Delves are rewarded with incredible power and abilities. Unfortunately for Arlo, there is no tutorial. He is immediately forced to tackle a Delve set to the highest difficulty with a party of adventurers who are not only strangers to him, but strangers to each other as well.

Thrust into a new world filled with monsters and magic, Will's life has become a war for survival. He has nothing more than a class called “soldier” and a strange leveling System he’s never seen before. When he stumbles across a dying stranger, a mysterious questline activates. Now Will must head to the front lines where humanity wages war against a ruthless Goblin Horde. There he will join the standing Kadian Army and forge his name from the fires of legend.

Nowadays, Melchior's a guy who lives under the radar, traveling from place to place, plundering dungeons, making money, and visiting his favorite people. Armed with his completely unfair [Appraisal] ability, no other Appraiser can compare to him. His income is the most secure and certain thing in Maestros. But Maestros is an ever-changing world, one populated by humans blessed by gods themselves, the Masters.

Vainqueur Knightsbane is your average dragon: a giant, fire-breathing lizard who loves to take naps on his golden hoard, kidnap princesses for fun, and make the life of adventurers miserable. Vainqueur's only pleasure in life is to watch his treasure get bigger, one coin at a time. So when a would-be thief turned unwilling minion tells him about "classes," "levels," and "quests," Vainqueur wonders if maybe, just maybe, he should consider a career change. After all, why bother hunting monsters for free when you can get paid for it?

It seems like a lifetime ago that Thedeim was a mortal man. After a fatal accident, he was transported to a strange realm to begin again as a living low-level dungeon. But he didn't stay small for long. With a powerful will, he built his dungeon self into a force to be reckoned with, full of minions, creepy crawlies, and a hedge maze to die for. Except Thedeim isn't a place where delvers die. He's a different, friendlier kind of dungeon, which suits both him and his many allies just fine. But being a nice dungeon means taking on some not-so-nice entities.

Dragons were not on my apocalypse bingo card. Neither was getting kidnapped by one. Life has been crazy, so it shouldn't be surprising that I've been taken by a mythological creature and marked as a potential piece of an apocalyptic prophecy. Except I'm done being a victim. Dangerous claws or...

Here Tea Dragons collects everything from Tales from a Magical Teashop as well as the novelette Saiyana's Challenge. Steep into scenes set in a shop serving teas made from magical ingredients as well as bonus stories from the perspectives of fan-favorite characters as you wait for your tea kettle to boil.

Sparking myths and legends from Asia to Europe, Africa to North America, dragons are the most universal and awe-inspiring of magical creatures. Whether they are fearsome, rampaging monsters or benevolent sages with much to teach humanity, dragons bring creation, destruction, and adventure in stories told all around the globe. In this landmark collection, award-winning editor Jonathan Strahan combines nearly thirty never-before-seen short stories and poems, written by modern masters of science fiction and fantasy, and illustrations by acclaimed artist Rovina Cai.

Once, music-loving Esme and proud clanlord Heikon were each other's everything. She danced only for him, and his love was the song that filled her world. And then a single act of treachery destroyed it all, their mate bond severed beyond repair. Esme retreated to her dance studio and music hoard to salve her broken heart. But Heikon believes some part of him still lives in her soul. There must be a way to fix it, to somehow win her back. If he can only figure out the steps of the dance that will make them true mates and partners again.

I want to live my life in peace for a little while as opposed to pieces. I don’t know who I have to bribe to catch a break, but I’m willing to pay the big bucks. Apparently, no one got the memo. Midlife is one messy ride. Fine. I’m off to Lexington, Kentucky to find a self-proclaimed dragon who sports a mullet, beer belly and delusions of Immortal grandeur. This time he’s gone too far. He’s messed with me and mine for the last time. The way to end a dragon is to remove his tail. We thought we had. A tail is in the back. Right? Wrong. So, so wrong.

Here in his first non-Shannara novel, Terry Brooks has written a gripping story of mystery, magic, and adventure—sure to delight fantasy readers everywhere. Landover was a genuine magic kingdom, with fairy folk and wizardry, just as the advertisement has promised. But after he purchased it...

Brought to you by Penguin. One mission. One curse. No escape. Zaira doesn’t want a hero. She needs a weapon. To save her sister from a soul-devouring curse, she has to cross The Shallows?a nightmare landscape of ruined magic, shifting paths, and vicious creatures that eat people alive. Her...