Showing results by narrator "Arte Johnson" in All Categories

Pulitzer Prize-winning author Robert Olen Butler tells a magical and humorous contemporary fable that captures the state of humanity at the cusp of a new millennium - as seen through the uniquely sensitive perspective of an empathetic extraterrestrial. An audible.com audio exclusive!

The seven stories that represent Fantasy and Science Fiction Magazine's July and August 2003 issues exhibit an unusual diversity of almost familiar worlds.

What would it take to lure a serious young newswoman from a respectable New England paper to the most notorious supermarket tabloid in America? The call of journalistic adventure? How about a promise of a salary that's triple what she's making? En route to her new job at the Weekly Galaxy, Sara Joslyn stumbles across a bloody corpse in a Buick Riviera. A big story? Not at this paper. The problem is compounded when the dead man vanishes, Buick and all.

From the grand old man of comedy, George Burns, to the up-to-the minute observations of today's everyman, Dave Barry, these great humorists share one thing in common: their very individual, often raucously funny perceptions of the world around them.

Sick of working your way to the top? America's most popular humorist, Dave Barry, shows you the alternate route, giving you tools to become the head of a major corporation in roughly a week. His surefire tips, from what shirt to wear to how to deal with pesky subordinates, will keep you laughing all the way up the corporate ladder.

Ever wish you had an immediate snappy comeback or a perfect putdown? We all have, only to later think of what we could—or should—have said. Then who better to call on than Shakespeare, who mastered the art of dramatic conflict with rapier wit rather than swordplay? This audiobook is an entertaining and witty collection of some of the most cutting jeers and outrageous affronts ever spoken. Never miss an opportunity for a well-aimed insult by borrowing from the Bard.

America's most beloved writer, Lilian Jackson Braun, author of twenty-four Cat Who... mysteries is now the subject of a mystery herself. In this spoof by one of her most ardent admirers, her beheaded body has been discovered in the men's room of a gay bar in Lower Manhattan. The police are baffled, and so it is up to Braun's eccentric writer friend, James Q. (Qafka), and his Siamese cats Ying-Ton and Poon-Tang to solve the ghastly mystery.

Here is the absolute best of Dave Barry; selections from four of his most popular books, including the hilarious Guide to Guys. Dave Barry is on the loose and no one is safe....

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER A collection of the best Miami Herald columns from the New York Times bestselling author of Squeeze Me on burning issues like animal welfare, polluted rivers, and the broken criminal justice system. If you think the wildest, wackiest stories that Carl Hiaasen can...

The young street urchin Hissune gets his due for helping Lord Valentine regain his throne. As a reward, he is sent into the depths of the Labyrinth, a massive library of memory cubes in which the entire history of Majipoor is preserved. As Hissune prepares for a summons to return to Castle Mount, he relives the lives of Majipoor's most famous and notorious inhabitants.

This second volume of Orson Scott Card's five-volume anthology of short stories features seven tales exploring possible future scenarios for the human race. A fascistic government's capital punishment extends beyond death. Intellectually superior aliens from a doomed world choose Earth's dogs as their new vessels. Not-quite-human beings on an Earth wasted by biological warfare continously fight an enemy which has long been annihilated.

Ever notice how bad song lyrics get stuck in your head? It's not just you. After Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry's column about this tendency, reader response was enormous. But Barry didn't know what he was getting himself into when he invited his Legion of Alert Readers to submit their nominees in the Bad Song Survey. "Song badness," he soon learned, "is an issue that Americans care deeply about."

Arriving home after another failed burglary, John Dortmunder is shocked to find his apartment occupied by a notorious cellmate that everyone had supposed (and hoped) had been jailed for life. Tom Jimson needs Dortmunder's help. Thirty years before his last prison stretch, Tom had pulled a big job up near Albany, one that left a cool $700,000 in cash buried under a water reservoir near Albany, New York. Tom's plan is to blow up the dam, flood the surrounding countryside, and grab the cash.

If the Watergate scandal was a national nightmare, then maybe the Bill Clinton scandal was a national wet dream, and who better to narrate it than Joe Eszterhas, screenwriter of such lurid films as Basic Instinct and Showgirls? In American Rhapsody, Eszterhas takes us through the events that threatened to topple a president and left most of the nation's citizens with, at the very least, a bad taste in their mouths. Here, Washington and Hollywood do more than just flirt with each other—they share the same bed.

Today's Generation iY (teens brought up with the Internet) and Homelanders (children born after 9/11) are overexposed to information at an earlier age than ever and paradoxically are underexposed to meaningful relationships and real-life experiences. Artificial Maturity addresses the problem of what to do when parents and teachers mistake children's superficial knowledge for real maturity. The audiobook is filled with practical steps that adults can take to furnish the experiences kids need to balance their abilities with authentic maturity.

One of America's most beloved social commentators—Pulitzer Prize-winning and bestselling author Russell Baker—followed up his bestselling memoir, The Good Times, with this collection of his best New York Times columns, dating back to 1962. There' s a Country in My Cellar covers Baker's usual wide range of topics, told in a wonderfully funny style, and many of which are profoundly serious beneath the banter.

Murder in a Distant Land the stories for this annual collection of the Mystery Writers of America were selected for their strange and exotic locales. Breathtaking suspense, cold-blooded crime, and challenging twists of plot - set in the four corner of the world - make this recording a chilling audio experience. We suggest you listen with the lights on!

An entertaining collection by seven renowned American mystery writers— including Mary Higgins Clark and Whitley Strieber— this anthology offers a delightful mix of mystery, suspense, and murder.

This collection of short stories displays Ed Gorman's talents as a masterful storyteller across a range of genres.

A mysterious and beautiful girl who teaches arrogant young men about true love, a lonely traveling salesman who learns that his passenger is Death, children who can absorb the psychic pain of their parents, a desperately pursued serial killer who hides his face under gauze in a hospital room, and a woman who loves the alien infant nobody else wants - these stories and 10 others make up this collection by award-winning author Ed Gorman. Here are stories that led him to be called "one of the best" by Dean Koontz and "one of the most original writers in crime fiction today" by Kirkus Reviews. Here, you'll find the extraordinary range of storytelling skill and powerful emotions that won Gorman the prized International Fiction Award.

Included in Different Kinds of Dead, and Other Tales are "Different Kinds of Dead", "Deathman", "A Girl Like You", "Loverboy", "Muse", "Riff", "The Brasher Girl", "Survival", "Masque", "Second Most Popular", and others.

This collection reveals the extraordinary range of storytelling skill and powerful emotions that won Gorman the prized International Fiction Award. His protagonists, gritty and gruff, are strangely likable, and his writing, according to Mystery News, is "powerful, disturbing, [and] often poetic".

This collection features a selection of classic short stories and poems by legendary Western authors Stephen Crane, Bret Harte, and Jack London.