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How to Be an Adult in Relationships

The Five Keys to Mindful Loving
Written by: David Richo
Narrated by: David Richo
Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
5 out of 5 stars (1 rating)

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Publisher's Summary

"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this audiobook, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships - one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:

  1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships
  2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are
  3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament
  4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways
  5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control

When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts - what Richo calls the five A's - form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.

©2018 David Richo (P)2018 Random House Audio

What members say

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  • RK
  • 12-01-19

Wonderful

It’s very rich in both, the psychological and spiritual dimensions of relating, the practices that help such evolving.

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  • Tyrus Smalley
  • 08-11-18

THE most important thing I’ve listened to as an adult.

Insightful and inquisitive. This book is THE most important thing I’ve listened to as an adult.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Annah Nimouse
  • 26-07-19

Missing text

I got the audio and kindle versions of the book. In the first chapter the audio version skipped about 5 pages
It seems great, but I want all the content

3 people found this helpful

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  • Justine Laliberte
  • 09-05-18

very insightful and eye opening

I'll someone who was raised by to narcissist and really had no grass one would a healthy adult relationship is, this book was very insightful and I opening. I will definitely referred to this book again and make notes and let everything really sink in for me.

The only thing I can say bad about this book was at the narrator sometimes was hard to listen to, his tone is alright but it just seems very monotone and sometimes I would fall asleep

8 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 18-05-19

In Depth Guide to Relationships

This book has helped the way I view all of my relationships (intimate and non-intimate). It has helped me take a mindful approach to how I respond to others and helped me show my love for others in more meaningful ways. I greatly enjoyed this book and all of the journal responses. I have already shared this book with my boyfriend and many friends. I will say that this book is very dense and my boyfriend said the physical copy is similar to a textbook. I chose to listen to some chapters again to fully digest their meaning; however, I found listening to this book very enjoyable. If you find this text too dense, I encourage you to find other information on this topic because it will truly change your life. Please don't let the format keep you from bettering your relationships.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 29-01-20

Fanfuckingtastic!

Get this book! It’ll blow your mind wide open And leave you with a new set of tools that are indispensable.

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  • Linda Smartt
  • 22-01-20

Wonderful Book

This book was so informative and loving.
I learned so much about relationships that I did not know beforehand.
I plan to order this book so I can think more deeply about the many ideas the author suggests one use to improve ones relationships.

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  • Mystic7
  • 30-10-19

This book will save you years of therapy.

My recommendation is to listen to one to two chapters per month... there is A LOT of information to process...but it is worth it, and it will make you aware of patterns of behavior. The author is a Psychotherapist of Buddhist practice, that has generously shared many years of knowledge in this book. He has a peaceful, soft tone, his writing style is a bit poetic at times, and he uses a lot of metaphors. This is not a fluffy how to book...this book is deep, meaningful and it is meant for those that really want to reflect and develop to be able to have a healthier adult relationship within and with others . This book will gave me the clarity I seeked, now I am aware. Awareness is the key to making better choices and positive shifts in our lives. This book can save you years of therapy. Seek and you shall find -What you seek, is seeking you.

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  • Solie
  • 15-10-19

Empowering to say the least.

This is a must read! for singles, married, or divorced. Everyone should read this book if wanting to understand oneself.I had to stop and process after reading a given chapter in order to reflect on my own life and see how inadequate I was by not being able to have a healthy intimate relationship in my past. Empower yourself and get this book!

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  • A. C.
  • 10-09-19

Highly recommend

I recommend this to anyone looking to improve themselves and their relationships. It’s written from a somewhat Buddhist perspective but I think anyone would get something out of it. I enjoyed the author’s narration too - very calming without being boring to listen to.

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  • Matt Davidson
  • 18-06-19

Should be taught in schools

One of the best and most comprehensive books on mindfulness in relationships. Any relationship (personal or business)! David really lays it out for you and leaves no stone unturned. It is never too late to discover yourself and be present for others. Chapter 5 really touched me and I know I will be reading this book many more times before I expire. I do wish I had put more effort into these strategies growing up, but I also have compassion for the decisions I have made. Through suffering you find self.

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  • Caroline
  • 12-09-19

So full of wisdom

Don't judge this book by it's cover. This is such a wise book and anyone who can hear it and live by it will be happy in life and in relationships. Needs more than one listen for it to sink in because it is so full of profound truth. I am listening to it for 15 minutes every morning and it is like a meditation that sets me up for the day. A much happier day than it would have been without it.

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  • Carolyn Gibson
  • 11-06-18

A very well written book packed with good information.

I found this book of great value, very well written full of good information and useful exercises. Although the narration was a little monotone with out too much expression which is rare when narrated by the author.
Overall a great book well worth a listen.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 20-01-19

fabulous

fabulous book. beautifully written. accessible and wise. i strongly recommend it as one of the best self help books i have 'read'.

4 people found this helpful