Overcoming Life's Inner Prisons

In this compelling episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant interviews Matt Melvin, author of 'Bullied Behind Bars.' Matt shares his harrowing experiences of incarceration, bullying, and isolation, focusing on the mental prison of blame and anger that lingered long after his physical release. The conversation delves into the challenges many men face, such as shame, fear, and past trauma, and discusses the importance of emotional survival, men's groups, and what it truly means to feel free inside.

Matt talks about his journey to self-love and forgiveness and his plans to create a supportive community for men. This episode provides a powerful reminder that freedom is more about inner connection and honesty rather than external conditions.

00:00 Introduction to Forgiveness and Accountability
00:13 Welcome to Real Men Feel
00:34 Meet Matt Melvin: Author and Survivor
02:01 Matt's Journey Through Incarceration
05:31 Life After Prison: Challenges and Growth
13:11 The Importance of Men's Work and Vulnerability
19:23 Matt's Vision for the Future
27:45 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

Connect with Matt
Matt Melvin — https://www.bulliedbehindbars.com/
Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/matthew.melvin.5621
X — https://x.com/barsbullied

Resources
Bullied Behind Bars: A Gay Christian Trump Supporter Goes to Prison by Matt Melvin — https://amzn.to/4r2mSi8

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 388

Embracing Vulnerability and Authenticity

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant is joined by Tyler Foley, a keynote speaker and author of 'The Power to Speak Naked.' They delve into topics such as masculinity, leadership, vulnerability, and the complexities of jealousy and control for men. Tyler shares how his communication skills and diverse influences shape his masculinity and confidence.

The conversation also explores relationship dynamics, including how to be supportive of a successful partner and how traditional notions of 'being alpha' are outdated. They discuss how true leadership involves listening, authenticity, and the power of stripping away the facade to reveal the raw, honest truth.

00:00 Introduction and Opening Thoughts
00:28 Welcome and Guest Introduction
00:43 Exploring Masculinity and Leadership
01:53 Tyler's Personal Journey and Influences
09:12 The Power of Vulnerability
13:29 The Concept of Speaking Naked
15:46 Authenticity and Self-Awareness
16:40 Supporting a Partner's Success
21:24 Challenging the Alpha Male Stereotype
27:13 Effective Leadership and Communication
29:45 Final Thoughts and Farewell

Connect with Tyler
Tyler Foley — https://seantylerfoley.com
Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/SeanTylerFoleyYYC
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/seantylerfoley
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/seantylerfoley/

Resources
The Power to Speak Naked: How to Speak with Confidence, Communicate Effectively, and Win Your Audience by Tyler Foley — https://amzn.to/3LmZ1ea

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 387

Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant discusses the often taboo topic of erectile dysfunction, sexual performance anxiety, and the fear of being broken with guest Shay Doran. Shay, a coach who helps men overcome these issues, shares his personal journey and insights on why ED is rarely just about the body but more about mindset. They discuss the societal pressures and beliefs that contribute to performance anxiety, the impact on relationships, and the importance of seeking help.

Shay also explores the harmful cycle of quick fixes and the cultural differences in perceptions of masculinity and sexual performance. The episode emphasizes that these challenges are normal and that men aren't alone in their struggles.

00:00 The Influence of Porn on Sex Education
00:36 Introduction to Real Men Feel and Today's Topic
00:52 Meet Shay Doran: Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety
01:43 Shay's Personal Journey with Performance Anxiety
04:24 The Root Causes of Performance Anxiety
06:31 The Performative Mindset and Its Impact
07:17 Distinguishing Between Medical and Mindset Issues
10:06 The Trap of Quick Fixes and Marketing Scams
13:10 The Importance of Seeking Help and Guidance
17:37 The Relational Impact of Erectile Dysfunction
20:31 Addressing the Elephant in the Room
21:11 Non-Judgmental Support and Communication
22:10 Working with Men on Performance Issues
23:19 Unique Challenges for Gay and Bi Men
25:43 Decoupling Masculine Identity from Sexual Performance
28:26 Common Aha Moments in Therapy
30:30 Cultural Differences in Masculinity and Performance Anxiety
32:01 Normalizing Sexual Performance Fluctuations
34:10 Impact of Porn on Sexual Performance
34:56 Connecting with Shay Doran
36:14 Beyond Sexual Performance: Living Authentically
38:28 Final Thoughts and Resources

Connect with Shay
Shay Doran — https://shay-doran.com
YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@shay-doran

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 386

Navigating Grief with Gratitude: A Conversation with Steve Gamlin

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant welcomes Steve Gamlin, known as the Motivational Firewood Guy. Steve shares his journey of grief and gratitude after losing his wife, Tina, in December 2024. The conversation delves deep into the process of living and creating with a broken heart, the power of visualization, and the impact of everyday kindness.

Steve also discusses the importance of authentic expression and being honest about where you are in life. This heartfelt discussion is both uplifting and profoundly human, providing insights into how to find strength and purpose amid profound loss.

00:00 Introduction and Personal Tragedy
00:41 Meet Steve Gamlin: The Motivational Firewood Guy
01:46 The Origin of Motivational Firewood
03:50 Understanding Visualization and Vision Boards
08:15 The Power of Everyday Kindness
14:02 Navigating Grief and Sharing the Journey
19:09 Personal Journey Through Grief
20:49 Rebuilding and Moving Forward
21:26 The Importance of Lived Experience
23:26 Honoring Tina Through Vision Boards
27:03 Daily Habits and Positivity
33:29 Future Relationships and Self-Discovery
35:32 Final Thoughts and Connection

Connect with Steve
Steve Gamlin — http://SteveGamlinSpeaker.com
Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/SteveGamlin
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevegamlin/

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 385

Breaking Down Barriers with the LezBro

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant talks with Aastha Lal, a lesbian coach who is transforming men's relationships by providing a safe, non-competitive, and non-judgmental space for growth. Aastha shares her journey in creating the LezBro, a coaching practice where men can explore vulnerability, emotional honesty, and mindfulness.

They discuss common challenges men face, such as reactivity and the need for connection, and highlight practical solutions through mindfulness and meditation. Aastha's unique approach bridges the divide in how men approach emotional openness and mental well-being, creating a ripple effect that benefits their relationships and communities.

Join Andy and Aastha as they dive deep into the importance of emotional safety and the unexpected benefits of having a lesbian coach for straight men.

00:00 Introduction: The Starvation for Connection
00:29 Meet the Guest: Aastha Lahl, The LezBro Coach
01:17 The Birth of LezBro: A Safe Space for Men
03:00 Common Reactions and Client Experiences
04:46 The Importance of Vulnerability and Mindfulness
09:43 Challenges Men Face: Emotions and Reactivity
12:38 Mindfulness in Practice: Real-Life Applications
17:12 Connection in Relationships: Single vs. Married Men
19:18 Outdated Masculinity and Emotional Expression
27:35 Practical Steps for Men: Starting the Journey
31:29 Conclusion: Final Thoughts and Resources

Connect with Aastha
TheLezBro — https://www.thelezbro.com/
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/the.lezbro/

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 384

In this unique clip show, host Andy Grant of Real Men Feel compiles powerful, honest answers from 17 previous guests to one pivotal question: 'What do you wish more men knew?' These responses shed light on the significant themes of love, vulnerability, self-worth, and emotional resilience.

From emphasizing the importance of self-love and accountability to advocating for better sexual health and emotional expression, these insights reveal a common thread—strength and vulnerability are not opposites, but essential mates.

This episode encourages men to be true to themselves and engage deeply with others.

00:00 Introduction to Real Men Feel
00:37 The Power of Vulnerability
03:34 Embracing Emotional Resilience
07:35 Redefining Masculinity
14:18 The Importance of Sexual Health
17:20 Conclusion and Community Invitation

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 383

From Silence to Strength: A Veteran's Journey

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant interviews Louis Stockley Jr., an army veteran, father, coach, and founder of Before 22. Louis shares his story of serving 17 years in military and federal service, facing emotional shutdowns, and nearly losing his family to his video game addiction. He discusses the pressures of masculinity, how the military shaped him, and the harrowing experiences of transitioning to civilian life.

Louis also talks about his turning point and the creation of Before 22, a movement to help veterans find purpose, brotherhood, and support before falling into severe mental health crises.

Join Andy and Louis as they explore the importance of vulnerability, brotherhood, and service in reclaiming one's life and voice.

00:00 Military Programming and Emotional Suppression
00:40 Introduction to Real Men Feel and Guest Louis Stockley Jr.
01:27 Louis Stockley's Military Background and Early Challenges
03:13 Lessons in Masculinity and Military Discipline
07:55 A Painful Lesson in Commitment
10:17 Transitioning to Civilian Life
18:28 Struggles with Trust and Isolation
21:32 The Turning Point: Overcoming Video Game Addiction
28:01 Discovering the Power of Fitness
29:00 Helping a Friend in Need
32:56 The Impact of Brotherhood
35:32 Facing Personal Challenges
38:10 Understanding Veterans' Struggles
41:18 The Mission of Before 22
47:33 Encouraging Vulnerability and Seeking Help
52:33 Final Thoughts and Resources

Connect with Louis
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/lstockley/
Louis on TikTok — https://www.tiktok.com/@vetcoachlouis
Before 22 — https://www.tiktok.com/@before22aday
Louis on IG — https://www.instagram.com/vetcoachlouis
Before 22 — https://www.instagram.com/before22aday/

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 382

Breaking the Chains: Reframing Trauma

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant talks with Eugene Z. Bertrand, a master of social work candidate at Columbia University, advocate for trauma-informed mental healthcare, and first-time author. Eugene discusses his journey of turning pain into purpose by reframing trauma as resilience and the significance of vulnerability for healing.

Topics include dismantling myths and stigma around domestic violence, betting on oneself, the intersection of trauma and mental health with incarceration, and the importance of representation and support systems. Eugene also shares about his impactful book 'Resilience: Breaking the Chains' and his role as a mitigation specialist in a federal public defender's office.

00:00 Introduction and Myths Around Domestic Violence
00:23 Meet Eugene Z. Bertrand
01:21 Eugene's Journey and Impact of Real Men Feel
02:03 Discussing the Man Box and Male Vulnerability
04:35 Creativity as a Healing Tool
06:01 Eugene's Book: Resilience Breaking the Chains
12:06 Challenges and Opportunities in Mental Health for Black Men
16:38 Mitigation Specialist Role and Rehabilitation
23:08 Betting on Yourself and Personal Growth
26:54 Final Thoughts and Connection

Connect with Eugene
Eugene Z Bertrand — https://eugenezbertrand.com/
LinkedIn — linkedin.com/in/eugene-bertrand

Resources
Resilience: Breaking the Chains by Eugene Z Bertrand — https://amzn.to/44oc8Sq
200 Powerful Positive Affirmations and 6 Simple Tips to Put Them to Work by Andy Grant — https://amzn.to/4p2k8kd

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 381