The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show is back for season two, and somehow it has returned even stupider, louder, and more chaotic than a goose on an energy drink. These games are so unbelievably stupid they make David Stupid of Stupidcastle look like he’s teaching advanced quantum physics on weekends.

At the helm, of course, is Retro Mike Kennedy — a man who delivers bad jokes with the confidence of someone who genuinely believes they’re good. He doesn’t skip a beat, mostly because he’s never actually found the beat in the first place. The silly games are plentiful, the nonsense is overflowing, and the dignity? Long gone.

And once again, he’s joined by his loyal contestants — or “victims,” as the authorities have started calling them.

• Young Luke, who is now almost allowed out until 6pm, provided he’s eaten his vegetables and remembered his teddy. Yes, he still needs it. No, he’s not ashamed.
• Wanted Joe, still at large, still wearing disguises so suspicious that even a toddler would say, “That’s not a real moustache.” He remains hidden in plain sight, mostly because no one wants to deal with him.
• Jen, who continues to defy the laws of biology by not being dead yet. Frail, ancient, and held together by tea, biscuits, and pure spite, she soldiers on like a Victorian ghost with a loyalty card.

This season they’re not just playing one silly game — oh no — they’re playing five. Including a brand‑new masterpiece of nonsense called Storytime, where the only rule is that there are no rules and also that Mike will definitely interrupt you.

It’s a laugh a minute, occasionally a scream, and sometimes even a jolt — yes, the electric‑shock kind. Because nothing says “family entertainment” like mild electrocution.

If you want to push this into full‑blown absurdity or turn it into a promo script, I’m ready to dive in.

🎄🥓 Brace your breakfast buns and fasten those trivia trousers — it’s Part Two of the Christmas Special of The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show!

It’s the end of the year, the mince pies are stale, and the studio fire alarm is definitely still going off from last week’s “experimental” mulled-wine fondue. So what better way to wrap things up than with a double-serving of retro nonsense?

Presiding over the festive mayhem is the man, the myth, the cardigan enthusiast: Retro Mike Kennedy — a host who delights in torturing his contestants with games so silly they’re technically illegal in three countries. This week he’s treating us to a very special edition of Polly’s Got a Cracker! — a game so chaotic it makes charades look like a tax seminar.

Joining the seasonal shenanigans:

• Jenni Wenni — the loyal team captain whose bladder is as unpredictable as the scoring system.
• Wanted Joe — still evading capture, but never a correct answer.
• Little Baby Luke — appearing with written permission from his mum and a strict “no sugary cereals” clause.
• Adrien — our “illegal” player, proudly waving his green card like it’s a backstage pass to Santa’s grotto.
• Suk — the latest evolutionary stage of our ongoing box‑ticking experiment, now with 20% more festive confusion.

With games that absolutely do not work on radio, podcasts, or frankly any known medium, this episode is festive, ridiculous, and unquestionably more entertaining than the King’s Speech — and with fewer corgis.

🎄🥓 Hold onto your toast and tighten those trivia trousers — it’s Part One of the Christmas Special of The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show!

It’s the end of the year, and what better way to sign off than with a double helping of retro chaos? Guiding us through the merriment is the host with the most, Retro Mike Kennedy, who gleefully subjects the team to the silliest games imaginable — including a very festive edition of Sausages.

Joining the madness are:

• Jenni Wenni — the ever-faithful (and slightly incontinent) team captain.
• Wanted Joe — still on the run, but never from trivia.
• Little Baby Luke — released on special permission from his mum.
• Adrien — our “illegal” player, proudly waving his green card.
• Suk — the latest evolution of our box-ticking experiment.

With Christmas Sausages on the menu, what more could you possibly want to listen to? It’s festive, it’s ridiculous, and it’s far more fun than the King’s Speech!

🎙️ After 14 gloriously chaotic episodes, the Retro Breakfast Quiz Show team are finally kicking off their shoes (and possibly losing them), pouring themselves a well-earned drink (or three), and basking in the warm, slightly unhinged glow of a season that defied logic, gravity, and good taste.

Retro Mike, our resident musical genius and part-time disco philosopher, has composed an epic medley of tunes that pay tribute to the unforgettable cast of characters who made this season sparkle like a glitter bomb in a bingo hall. From the mysterious and mildly dangerous Wanted Joe, to the ever-effervescent Jenni Wenni, the pint-sized powerhouse Baby Luke, the unflappable Tamika, and of course, everyone's favourite border-hopping heartthrob, Adrien—the illegal immigrant with a heart of gold and a passport made of dreams.

This isn’t just a recap—it’s a full-blown, toe-tapping, laugh-snorting, memory-lane-strolling musical extravaganza. So grab your headphones, your beverage of choice, and maybe a snack shaped like a question mark, and enjoy this silly, sentimental tribute to the season that was.

Because before you know it, we’ll be decking the halls, jingling the bells, and unleashing our Christmas Special—followed by Season Two, which promises to be even more ridiculous, more musical, and possibly more illegal.

Stay tuned. Stay silly. Stay retro.

🎉🦢 Hold onto your toast and tighten your trivia trousers — it’s Part Two of the Final Show of The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show! 🦢🎉

Yes, it’s the end… but not the end. It’s the end of the end, but the second bit of the end of the end. So technically, it’s still not over. But emotionally? We’re already halfway through a tub of ice cream and crying into a glittery napkin.

📍 Broadcasting from an undisclosed location suspiciously close to Big Ben (we’re not saying Retro Mike broke into Parliament, but we’re also not not saying it), the team is wrapping up Season One with more chaos than a squirrel in a disco.

🎙️ At the helm is the icon, the legend, the man who once tried to host a quiz using sock puppets and a kazoo: Retro Mike Kennedy. He’s steering this ship home with the confidence of a man who’s never read the rules and the charm of a vintage toaster. His jokes are still legally questionable, and his intros now require subtitles and a snack break.

🛂 Back from his mysterious immigration saga is Adrien, who spent several weeks being vigorously probed by officers who now follow him on Instagram. He’s returned with a new appreciation for borders, sausages, and personal space. He’s brought back his favourite game: “Is It Legal?” — spoiler: it rarely is.

🧃 Also returning is Luke, who’s once again staying up late — all the way until 4:30pm. He’s got a juice box, a blanket, and the energy of a man who just discovered fizzy cola bottles. He’s ready to party, as long as it doesn’t interfere with nap time or his scheduled tantrum.

🍹 The team have drinks (some fizzy, some suspicious), silly games, and a mission: to relive the greatest hits of Season One.

💥 This is the swan song — and the swan is wearing sequins, holding a cocktail, and doing the Macarena. It’s not just a finale. It’s a glittery, gravy-soaked celebration of everything that made Season One a beautiful mess.

📅 But don’t cry too hard — because Season Two launches in JANUARY 2026! That’s right. More madness. More Sausages. More Adrien. More Retro Mike intros that require a map and a glossary.

So grab your toast, your tissues, and your lowest expectations — because this isn’t just a quiz show. It’s a breakfast-time fever dream that refuses to end quietly.

🦢🎙️ Grab your toast and tissues, folks — The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show is almost at an end… but not quite! 🎙️🦢

Yes, it’s Part One of the Final Show, which means it’s not the end-end, just the beginning of the end-end, which is technically still mid-end. Confused? Good. That’s the spirit of the show.

📍 Broadcasting from an undisclosed location (possibly a shed, possibly a submarine, possibly Retro Mike’s nan’s conservatory), the team is steering this chaotic ship toward its final destination — with all the grace of a flamingo on rollerblades.

🎙️ At the helm is the icon, the myth, the man who once tried to host a quiz using only interpretive dance: Retro Mike Kennedy. He’s steering the ship home with a microphone in one hand and a lukewarm cup of tea in the other. His intros are longer than a Lord of the Rings director’s cut, and his jokes are so bad they’ve been officially classified as “emotional turbulence.”

🛂 Returning from his mysterious absence is Adrien, who’s spent the last few weeks in immigration being vigorously probed by several very serious officers. He’s back, slightly traumatised, but still obsessed with sausages and dodgy TV shows. He’s brought a new game called “Borderline Banter,” which may or may not be legal.

🧃 Also back is Luke, who’s thrilled to be staying up late — all the way until 4:30pm. He’s got snacks, a blanket, and the energy of a man who just discovered fizzy drinks. He’s ready to party, as long as it doesn’t interfere with nap time.

🍹 The team have drinks (some fizzy, some suspicious), silly games, and a mission: to bring back their favourite moments from the show.

💥 This is the swan song — but the swan is drunk, confused, and wearing glitter. It’s not goodbye, it’s “see you after the nap.” It’s not the end, it’s the beginning of the end of the beginning of the end. Or something.

So grab your drink, your jelly, and your lowest expectations — because this isn’t just a quiz show finale. It’s a glorious, glittery descent into breakfast madness.

💅📻 Watch out, Essex — The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show has landed, and it’s bringing more drama than a reality TV reunion in a chip shop! 📻💅

That’s right, Episode 13 is here, and we’ve rolled into the land of fake tans, fast cars, and now… questionable quiz-based entertainment. If you thought breakfast was meant to be relaxing, think again — this show’s got more twists than a curly fry in a wind tunnel.

🎙️ Leading the madness is Retro Mike Kennedy, the man who absolutely deserves his own spin-off called The Only Way Is Retro. He’s got the charm of a vintage toaster, the style of a man who shops exclusively in charity shops labelled “1983,” and the ability to derail a game faster than you can say “what’s the question again?”

👑 Team Captains Who Are Plotting Their Escape:

• Wanted Joe – Still wanted, still Joe, still wondering if this is a quiz show or a cry for help. He’s got one eye on the scoreboard and the other on the nearest exit.
• Jenni Wenni – Our incontinent queen of sass and slippers. She’s only here because she thought it was a trip to the garden centre. Now she’s counting down the minutes until bingo night at the care home. She’s smiling sweetly, but her eyes say “I will end this with a slipper.”

🧃 Special Guests Who Are Confused and Confusing:

• Luke – He’s surprised Tamika isn’t a man. He’s also surprised by most things, including the concept of time, the rules of the game, and the fact that the buzzers don’t dispense jelly. He’s here, he’s confused, and he’s wearing socks with dinosaurs on them.
• Tamika – She’s surprised Luke is allowed out this late. She’s also surprised by the fact that this show exists. She’s got glitter in her hair, chaos in her soul, and a vague understanding that she’s supposed to be answering questions — but only if they involve sequins or sandwiches.

💥 This episode is less quiz show, more chaotic group therapy. It’s the three-ring circus you didn’t ask for, hosted by a man who thinks “streaming” means watching raindrops on a window while humming 80s jingles.

So grab your glitter, your bingo card, and your lowest expectations — because this isn’t just a quiz show. It’s a full-blown Essex extravaganza with extra confusion and a side of jelly.

🎉🍨 Hold onto your jelly, Derby — The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show has arrived, and it’s about to turn your town into a full-blown carnival of confusion! 🍨🎉

That’s right, Episode 12 is coming in hot (and slightly sticky), as the gang descends upon the land of railways, roundabouts, and now… radio-based ridiculousness. If you thought breakfast was meant to be calm and civilised, you clearly haven’t met this crew.

🕰️ Leading the madness is Retro Mike Kennedy, the man so out of touch he’s practically a time traveller. He still thinks VHS is cutting-edge, refers to TikTok as “that noisy clock app,” and once tried to fax a meme. But don’t worry — he’s here to host, confuse, and derail every game with the grace of a tap-dancing llama.

🎙️ Backing him up (barely) are the two brave team captains:

• Wanted Joe – Still wanted, still Joe, still wondering how he ended up captaining a team that includes a man who thinks trivia is a form of interpretive dance. He’s got the patience of a saint and the fashion sense of a confused magician.
• Jenni Wenni – Our incontinent queen of passive-aggressive smiles. She’s here to support the madness, knit through the chaos, and occasionally mutter “I need a stronger flask” under her breath. She’s the only person who can endure Retro Mike’s games without blinking — or crying.

🧁 Special Guest: Luke He’s flying solo today. No team loyalty, no strategic plan, just one mission: get the jelly and ice cream. He’s wandered between teams, buzzed in on questions meant for other people, and started a chant of “dessert first!” mid-round. He doesn’t care who wins — as long as he gets his pudding.

👨‍🌾 This episode? It’s the Three Amigos hosted by Chief Don. Retro Mike has declared himself “Chief Don of Derby,” complete with a paper crown, a cape made from tea towels, and a sceptre that’s just a rolled-up TV guide. The others are too tired to argue.

💥 What silliness awaits? We don’t know. We suspect it involves inflatable flamingos, a trivia round about spoons, and Adrien accidentally joining a different podcast halfway through.

So grab your jelly, your ice cream, and your lowest expectations — because this isn’t just a quiz show. It’s a full-blown breakfast-time fever dream hosted by a man who thinks “streaming” means standing in a river.