We unpack why struggle feels like a verdict on who we are and show how to move from fixed beliefs to a growth mindset grounded in safety, regulation, and honest reframing. Lived stories, research touchpoints, and simple tools make learning feel safer than staying the same.

• defining mindset as a learned framework, not a label
• how childhood roles and tests harden identity
• states versus traits and why context changes us
• fixed mindset as ego protection and shame
• safety before strategy and body-up regulation
• practical reframes including adding yet
• praising effort over outcome to unlock growth
• proving versus improving as an antidote to perfectionism
• redefining failure as data you can use
• uneven mindsets across life domains and how to spot them

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To read more about Mindset, check out Carol Dwek's book that we discussed here: https://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Carol-S-Dweck/dp/0345472322

Laura's Free Course on Emotional Development and Regulation:
https://benavieri.com/neuroception-sign-up/

This show is sponsored by:

Core Self

www.coreself.org

Benavieri Counseling & Coaching
www.benavieri.com

Active Healing Psychiatric Services
www.activehealingpsych.com

We map addiction across three lenses—brain changes, attachment trauma, and choice—and show how they fit together without shame. Practical tools, meds, and nervous system skills make healing doable, from habit loops to co-regulation to TMS.

• defining addiction as impaired control despite harm
• substance and process addictions sharing brain mechanics
• dopamine spikes, downregulation and anhedonia
• prefrontal cortex as brakes and how it weakens
• attachment wounds and substitute relationships
• co‑regulation, safety cues and nervous system repair
• the “beast” voice vs agency without shame
• habit loops, delay windows and urge surfing
• Pavlovian reversal and neural pruning
• medications, TMS, NAC and GLP‑1 research
• building adult secure attachment and daily practices
• reframing recovery as reconnection and consistency

If you like our show, please leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow the show and share it with friends.

Here are the links to the books we referenced in this episode:

Rational Recovery: https://www.amazon.com/Rational-Recovery-Cure-Substance-Addiction/dp/0671528580

Addiction, Attachment, Trauma, and Recovery: https://www.amazon.com/Addiction-Attachment-Trauma-Recovery-Interpersonal/dp/0393713172

Laura's Free Course on Emotional Development and Regulation:
https://benavieri.com/neuroception-sign-up/

This show is sponsored by:

Core Self

www.coreself.org

Benavieri Counseling & Coaching
www.benavieri.com

Active Healing Psychiatric Services
www.activehealingpsych.com

We unpack how childhood emotional survival maps become adult paradigms that shape choices, risk tolerance, and self-worth. We share CBT tools, new agreements, and practical steps to shift identity, reduce rejection sensitivity, and build lasting change through repetition and compassion.

• defining paradigms as learned lenses and habit loops
• emotional survival maps from childhood shaping adult behavior
• CBT’s think–feel–do model applied to stuck goals
• rejection as difficult not dangerous and why emotions lack time
• shame, self-talk, and compassionate inner parenting
• scarcity mindset, clutter, and money habits
• don’t take it personally and don’t make assumptions agreements
• why chains to trace behaviors to root beliefs
• moving from autopilot to intention with tiny reps
• EMDR’s role in reframing responsibility and worth

If you like our show, please leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow the show and share it with friends.

You can find the book, The Four Agreements Here: https://www.thefouragreements.com/

Laura's Free Course on Emotional Development and Regulation:
https://benavieri.com/neuroception-sign-up/

This show is sponsored by:

Core Self

www.coreself.org

Benavieri Counseling & Coaching
www.benavieri.com

Active Healing Psychiatric Services
www.activehealingpsych.com

We unpack why vulnerability triggers fear and how armor—perfectionism, people pleasing, overexplaining—protects us while keeping connection out of reach. We share concrete ways to practice safe vulnerability, build shame resilience, and bring more gratitude, play, and empathy into daily life.

• defining vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure
• childhood wounds shaping adult defenses and armor
• reframing vulnerability as courage not weakness
• authenticity mantras and grounding self-talk
• oversharing versus discerning, earned sharing
• shame spirals, empathy and co-regulation
• accountability without self-condemnation
• nervous system basics and limbic memory
• gratitude practice, play and creativity to rewire attention
• raising joy’s baseline and building resilience with small wins

You can find Brene Brown's book here: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Power-of-Vulnerability-Audiobook/B00CYKDYBQ?srsltid=AfmBOorcZ3FVBRVjqxdS5iOFUz2iVZGe61LZ2yzKB7hkyiSWIXxeIvAE

If you like our show please leave us a like rating and review on your favorite podcast platform follow the show and share it with your friends

Laura's Free Course on Emotional Development and Regulation:
https://benavieri.com/neuroception-sign-up/

This show is sponsored by:

Core Self

www.coreself.org

Benavieri Counseling & Coaching
www.benavieri.com

Active Healing Psychiatric Services
www.activehealingpsych.com

We dig into why mental health hacks feel so tempting, which ones actually help, and when they quietly make things worse. We share how to set goals, spot toxic positivity, work with trauma-aware pacing, and choose therapy that fits.

• appeal of quick fixes, privacy and control
• stigma fears and the urge to go it alone
• readiness over resistance and avoidance loops
• self-connection and compassionate self-talk
• toxic positivity versus true validation
• habits that help ADHD and daily stress
• limits of behavior change with trauma
• using goals, metrics and timelines
• choosing a therapist and seeking the right fit
• sustainability, balance and being okay enough

If you like our show, please leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform, follow the show and share it with your friends

Laura's Free Course on Emotional Development and Regulation:
https://benavieri.com/neuroception-sign-up/

This show is sponsored by:

Core Self

www.coreself.org

Benavieri Counseling & Coaching
www.benavieri.com

Active Healing Psychiatric Services
www.activehealingpsych.com

We explore why self-sabotage shows up when life is going well and how the nervous system uses it as protection. We share simple tools to build internal safety, reframe failure, and keep momentum without burning out.

• defining self‑sabotage as protection, not laziness
• discomfort, avoidance, and procrastination patterns
• fear of failure and fear of success dynamics
• imposter thoughts and cognitive distortions
• chaos, hypervigilance, and dopamine’s novelty drop
• curiosity over shame as a core strategy
• the 90‑second rule to ride emotional waves
• sensory grounding, anchors, and visualization
• reframing failure and choosing aligned actions
• trimming “shoulds” and setting value‑based goals

If you like our show, please leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform
Follow the show and share it with your friends

Laura's Free Course on Emotional Development and Regulation:
https://benavieri.com/neuroception-sign-up/

This show is sponsored by:

Core Self

www.coreself.org

Benavieri Counseling & Coaching
www.benavieri.com

Active Healing Psychiatric Services
www.activehealingpsych.com

We explore why we always feel behind in life regardless of our accomplishments and how to break free from arbitrary timelines.

• Social media creates unrealistic comparisons as we see others' curated highlights without the struggles
• Childhood expectations of adulthood often don't match reality, creating feelings of inadequacy
• Economic realities today make traditional milestones harder to achieve than for previous generations
• Unlike childhood development, adulthood isn't linear—it has cycles, seasons, and no clear endpoint
• Early parentification can lead to burnout and difficulty finding satisfaction in adult achievements
• Internalized shame can be paralyzing when we believe we're fundamentally behind or inadequate
• Creating a vision board helps define personal values separate from societal expectations
• Notice when inspiration crosses into comparison—your body gives signals when social media becomes harmful
• Time only moves forward—there's no going backward, just moments of struggle within forward movement
• Success isn't a checklist but a journey that changes as your values and perspective evolve

Thank you for listening to Why Am I Like This! If you like our show, please leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow the show and share it with your friends.

Laura's Free Course on Emotional Development and Regulation:
https://benavieri.com/neuroception-sign-up/

This show is sponsored by:

Core Self

www.coreself.org

Benavieri Counseling & Coaching
www.benavieri.com

Active Healing Psychiatric Services
www.activehealingpsych.com

We explore how our childhood experiences shape our perception of being judged and develop strategies to break free from the weight of others' opinions.

• The feeling of being judged often stems from childhood insecurities and past experiences
• Our brains scan for social threats, especially in new environments
• The inner critic narrates how others see us based on our own insecurities
• We constantly seek evidence that reinforces our negative self-beliefs
• Parents unintentionally perpetuate judgment by focusing on outcomes rather than character traits
• Neurodivergent individuals often receive negative feedback that creates deeper feelings of being judged
• Breaking free requires recognizing thoughts aren't facts and practicing self-compassion
• Setting boundaries with critical people helps create safer relationships
• Some judgment is inevitable, but it doesn't have to define our worth
• Curating social media and surroundings to promote growth rather than perfection reduces self-judgment

If you like our show, please leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow the show and share it with your friends.

Laura's Free Course on Emotional Development and Regulation:
https://benavieri.com/neuroception-sign-up/

This show is sponsored by:

Core Self

www.coreself.org

Benavieri Counseling & Coaching
www.benavieri.com

Active Healing Psychiatric Services
www.activehealingpsych.com