The marriage rate in this country has fallen nearly 60% in the last half century. So what’s motivating those of us still choosing to say I do? Anita ponders this question with the Hindu officiant who helped her build a ceremony that bridged the gap between her values and her dad's traditional desires. Plus, a comedian and queer ex-nun explains how she takes people from the place of "marriage is a dumpster fire" to a ceremony they're excited about.

Meet the guests:

- Raja Gopal Bhattar is a consultant, author and officiant who Anita and her family worked with to design her wedding ceremony

- Kelli Dunham, a comedian, nurse and queer ex-nun who officiates weddings and funerals — and refers to herself as "queer secular clergy"

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If you want to hear more of Satish Rao on Embodied:

Mixed (Parent Edition), where Anita talks to her parents about growing up mixed race

Pooped, where Satish gets to share his expertise as a gastroenterologist

Please note: This episode originally aired September 26, 2024.

Update: Raja Gopal Bhattar released an interactive memoir, “Queering Constellations: Mapping This Journey Called Life.”

Curtis Chin grew up inside Chung’s Cantonese Cuisine. His great-grandfather first opened the Detroit restaurant in 1940, and in the 1970s and ‘80s Chung’s was the backdrop for many of Curtis’s formative lessons about race, identity and belonging.He talks to Anita about his experience learning how to code-switch as an Asian American and gay kid in a Black and white city — and how serving and observing customers in the restaurant helped him find his own way as a writer, filmmaker and activist.

Meet the guest:

- Curtis Chin is the author of “Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant”

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After being raped at 18, journalist Katie Simon had a burning question: How do you navigate sex and intimacy after sexual assault? Katie tells Anita about their journey of trial and error with sex and how connecting with other survivors helped them write the guidebook they wish they’d had years ago. They explore everything from disclosure and triggers to kink and healing — both for survivors and their partners.

Meet the guest

- Katie Simon is the author of “Tell Me What You Like: An Honest Discussion of Sex and Intimacy After Sexual Assault"

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How does living with a condition that is so deeply stigmatized affect who and how we love? Anita meets a mixed-HIV status couple who shares how they've approached sex and intimacy in their 11+ year relationship. Plus, a woman who was born HIV positive talks about dating, disclosure and overcoming the fear of rejection.

Meet the guests:

- Rainer Oktovianus is a photographer and user experience designer living with HIV

- Eka Nasution is a project management professional and Rainer's husband

- Diana Koss is a content creator and host of the "Born Positive" YouTube channel

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Please note: This episode originally aired September 5, 2024.

Anita's been reckoning with what it means to stay connected to cultural identity as a mixed-race adult. And in pursuit of what things to prioritize, she's turning her focus to food. She talks to mixed-race foodie and writer Raj Tawney, whose hours in the kitchen with his mom and grandma have grounded his search for belonging. Then, she picks up the phone and calls the primary chef in the Rao family: her mom, Sheila.

Meet the guests:

- Raj Tawney is a writer, foodie and the author of “Colorful Palate: A Flavorful Journey Through a Mixed American Experience”

- Sheila Rao is Anita's mom

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Please note: This episode originally aired December 5, 2024.

The consequences of fast fashion are well known: worker exploitation, environmental damage and poor quality items. And yet many of us keep buying it — either unknowingly, in willful ignorance or because it feels like there is no other option. Fashion industry insider and “Clotheshorse” podcast host Amanda Lee McCarty joins Anita to interrogate why fast fashion has such a particular hold on us and what we can do about it.

Meet the guest:

- Amanda Lee McCarty is the host of the “Clotheshorse” podcast and a self-employed fashion consultant

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You can find Amanda Lee McCarty on Substack and Instagram!

Dina Gilio-Whitaker knows that it’s complicated to talk about Native American identity. She occupies a gray zone herself: she’s a legal descendant of the Colville Confederated Tribes but not an enrolled member. As she worked to make sense of her own liminal identity, she also started witnessing a troubling phenomenon: people coming forward with fraudulent claims to Nativeness. Dina — now an academic — tells Anita about the personal experiences that led her to research this phenomenon, the harms this “pretendianism” perpetuates and the conversations she’s starting about possible solutions.

Meet the guest:

- Dina Gilio-Whitaker is a lecturer at California State University San Marcos and the author of “Who Gets to Be Indian? Ethnic Fraud, Disenrollment, and Other Difficult Conversations About Native American Identity”

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When married couple Pat McAulay and Margaret Roesch were in their 40s, they had a shared dream for old age: living in a big house with other lesbians where everyone took care of each other. That vision — and their experiences with isolation and discrimination — inspired them to build Village Hearth, the first 55+ co-housing community for LGBTQ seniors and allies in the U.S. They tell Anita what it’s been like to live there for the past five years, and then a young activist shares how she’s helping connect queer folks with other models for aging in community, from RV parks to affordable housing.

Meet the guests:

- Pat McAulay and Margaret Roesch, co-founders of Village Hearth in Durham, the first 55+ cohousing community for LGBTQ seniors and allies

- Jane Haskell, director of impact and engagement at SAGE, a non-profit advocacy and service organization focused on LGBTQ seniors

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