This week is a little different. Victoria had tech issues, so Milton flies solo to introduce the Skill Box, a simple structure we use to understand what’s happening inside us without turning it into a self-criticism session.

Milton breaks down why measurement is meant to be feedback, not judgment, and why structure isn’t restriction, it’s support. Using relatable metaphors (recipes, music, Lego sets, and even golf clubs), we explore how skills have specific “jobs,” and why the goal is to learn the right tool for the right moment.

We close with a reminder that learning to respond instead of react is a practice built through repetition, not perfection.

In this episode, we ease back into the new year by reflecting on the holidays, without the pressure of making them “magical.” We talk about how expectations (from media, family, and even ourselves) shape our experience, and how the Learn pillar helps us notice the filters we’re using. We also explore grounding as a bridge between Learn and Heal, why rest is actually part of alignment, and how “hibernation season” can teach us what our bodies really need. Plus: a funny Secret Santa story, a surprise Amazon package mystery, and why being “in the momentness” might be the antidote to holiday dread.

In Episode 9 of Rewrite Your Story, Milton and Victoria continue the 7 Guiding Principles and move deeper into the Heal Pillar, where compassion becomes the foundation for real change.

They explore “fractured strategies” (the protective patterns you built to survive), why your nervous system clings to what’s familiar (even when it’s painful), and how Parts Work/IFS helps you understand behaviors like fawning, freezing, avoidance, and self-protection without labeling yourself as “broken.”

You’ll also hear why desire isn’t enough (growth takes work) and how sustainable progress comes from holding multiple truths at once (dialectical thinking): hard and doable, comfort and challenge, wanting change and fearing it.

If you’ve ever thought, “If I wanted to change, I would,” this episode offers a more compassionate (and realistic) explanation, and a path forward that doesn’t rely on shame.

In this reset episode of Rewrite Your Story, Milton and Victoria step back to clarify the foundation of the Self-Alignment System (SAS): seven guiding principles designed to function as a compass, not a set of rigid rules.

They explore why lasting change starts with reality (people are doing the best they can with what they have right now) and how real growth happens when we look for cause instead of blame. Using relatable metaphors like compasses, prototypes, and “fail points vs. failure,” they explain why skills don’t stick unless they’re practiced across real-life situations, not just in controlled or ideal settings.

If you’re exhausted by shame-based self-help, trying to force yourself into someone else’s mold, or feeling discouraged when progress isn’t perfect, this episode offers a grounding reset and a more compassionate way forward.

In this episode of Rewrite Your Story, Milton and Victoria officially step into the Heal Pillar of the Self-Alignment System (SAS) and talk about what real emotional healing actually looks like in everyday life. They share the difference between anxious, urgency-driven change and wise, self-aligned change, and use the metaphor of kintsugi (repairing broken pottery with gold) to explore how your “cracks” and past experiences can become part of your strength instead of your shame.

From there, they introduce the Heal Pillar’s first core skill: dropping the anchor. Through stories about crystals, grounding objects, skin-to-skin contact, and even paramedics and babies, they walk through practical emotional grounding tools you can use when you’re overwhelmed, like five-senses check-ins, deep breathing, body awareness, and touch. You’ll learn how grounding helps your nervous system settle, clears brain fog, and moves you from reactivity into that “watchtower” state we explored in the Learn Pillar.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in anxiety, panic, or dissociation (or like your past is steering the present), this episode will help you start healing by coming back into your body, honoring your broken pieces, and choosing the next step from a grounded, self-aligned place.

In this Learn Pillar finale, Milton and Victoria bring together everything we’ve explored in the Self-Alignment System (SAS) and prepare you to move into the Heal Pillar. They dig into why consistency is hard, how “doing mode” fuels shame and overthinking, and why we often react to assumptions instead of reality.

Using Rosetta Stone and weather-app metaphors, they break down feedback decoding, how to check the facts, notice emotional filters, and see the “lens” you’re viewing yourself and others through. They also explore how core beliefs, social anxiety, dating, and relationships shape our internal narratives.

With DBT skills, IFS language, and real-life stories, this episode helps you step into curiosity instead of self-criticism, pause the alarm system, and ask: What’s actually happening right now, and what’s the self-aligned next step?

If you struggle with shame, people-pleasing, or analysis paralysis, this episode closes the Learn Pillar and opens the door to deeper healing.

What if the hardest part of healing isn’t learning new skills, but unlearning the beliefs and roles that were never yours to begin with?

In this episode of Rewrite Your Story, Milton McLelland and Victoria Johansen explore how curiosity, neutrality, emotions, and values all work together in the Learn Pillar of the Self-Alignment System (SAS). Through warm, real conversations, they look at how childhood learning, emotional filters, gender roles, shame, guilt, and cultural expectations shape the way we see ourselves, and how these inherited beliefs can quietly keep us stuck.

Milt and Victoria discuss how to observe your emotions without judgment, how to tell the difference between your true values and the ones you absorbed from others, and why it’s so common to feel torn between independence, identity, and connection. They also explore the difference between being “selfish” and becoming self-aligned, offering practical insight into how to reconnect with your authentic self.

If you’re navigating people-pleasing, identity confusion, emotional overwhelm, or the pressure to live up to others’ expectations, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and grounding.

In this follow-up to last week’s Learn Pillar conversation, Milton and Victoria dive deeper into what it actually means to see clearly in the present moment.

They explore the difference between gathering data versus observing reality, why neutrality creates space for curiosity, and how we mistake “understanding” for “experiencing.”

Milt talks about a moment teaching at the jail where his intentions didn’t match what the group actually needed, and Victoria shares her own struggle with wanting to fully understand clients by imagining (or overidentifying with) their experiences.

Together, they break down how the Learn pillar trains you to: • Build precise perception • Notice when bias or assumptions creep in • Stay with the moment itself, not the past or future • Listen more than you label • Release pressure to “get it right” before you even begin

🎧 If you tend to overthink, over-explain, or over-prepare before acting, this episode brings a grounded, compassionate look at learning to just be here.