Showing results by narrator "Jessica Almasy" in All Categories

With a show to produce and my career as an actress on the line, I really don’t have time to die—especially violently. However, while that might not be on my agenda, it seems to be on other’s. Awesome. Instead of acting in my latest endeavor, I’m playing the real-life role of Reluctant Demon Who Has To Save The World—or at the very least, the hot hero.

Oh great hero! The evil Demon Lord has once again arisen to terrorise our lands, and we have summoned you to save our people! No, we don't want you to fight the demon lord! Of course not; we're the good guys! What sort of good guys kidnap people from other worlds and force them to take part in wars that have nothing to do with them? That would just be plain evil! We'd be no better than the demons!

Two years have passed since Vita was arrested by the Inquisition, and her time in prison has not been kind to her. As Penelope Vesuvius plots a grand breakout while currying favor with the government, the monstrous Lark joins the Church in search of redemption. A conflict between the most powerful forces in Valka is set to simmer, and it's only a matter of time before it boils over...

"Apples, ho!" This delectable tale is a School Library Journal Best Book of the Year. Daddy has uprooted the family to move to Oregon—but not without his babies—apples, peaches, pears, plums, grapes, and cherries! Will Daddy's precious plants persevere? This tall tale is loosely based on a real-life fruit pioneer who brought his fruit trees along on the Oregon Trail.

Dorky, socially awkward entomology student Evelyn wakes up one morning to find herself as some sort of alien-human hybrid trapped on an unknown planet. Once the initial panic winds down, she quickly learns she's capable of producing more of herself: additional bodies all sharing one mind. Being well-versed in sci-fi tropes, she quickly resolves to not devour the planet and turn into an unflinching biological armada, and instead uses her new powers to try and help as many people as possible. Unfortunately, it turns out that helping people is often very, very difficult. 

Just when I thought life might be getting back to normal—normal being a relative word—I couldn’t have been more wrong. Marriage proposal from the Grim Reaper? Yes. Beautiful healthy baby? Yes. Friends and family safe? Yes. Ghost of my worst enemy sitting on my front porch? OMG. Yep. With the ghostly world imploding around me, I’m going to need more than superglue to repair it. 

What does a forty-year-old former child star do when she finds out she’s a Demon? A sitcom, of course. Age is just a number unless you’re an actress of a certain age trying to make a comeback in La La Land. Back in the day, I was the child star of the hit show Camp Bites. Today, I’m still living it down.After a disastrous soap opera audition and getting fired from a TV show for not having a bodacious enough backside, one would think I’d be smart enough to go into real estate. Nope. Just found out from the rudest, meanest, and hottest guy alive that I’m a Demon.

An all-new book in acclaimed author Laurie Halse Anderson's series for younger readers! Zoe is back in Ambler after living with her mom in Los Angeles, and she doesn't know what to feel about it. It's fun to be back with the Vet Volunteers, but Zoe misses her mom, who is filming a movie in...

Not sure who I screwed over in a past life to end up with a heinous mother-in-law who thinks my wedding is for her. If I didn’t love Chance more than myself, I’d rethink the entire hot mess. Problem: I’ve been instructed to show up in Hell on my wedding day with six bridesmaids. I have two friends in total. Problem solved: Go to a supernatural plasticware party at the community center and blackmail a few gals into being bridesmaids. New problem: The gals I coerced bring their own brand of crazy to the party. Whatever. Chance is the demon of my dreams. He loves me, fur and all.

The first book in the Sisters Ever After series! Sleeping Beauty's younger sister has always lived in her shadow—until now. Perfect for anyone who loves fairy tale retellings about sisters and princesses! For years, Briony has lived in the shadow of her beautiful older sister, Rosalin, and the...

Midlife is sheer madness, and the facts of midlife are not taught in school. Unfortunately, some lessons are hellishly hard to learn. I thought I had it figured out. I was wrong. Proving I’m the Angel of Mercy is turning into a shitshow of epic proportions. Not too long ago, I was a 40-year-old gal with a stable and boring life ahead of me. Now? Not so much. I have celestial siblings who are no walk in the park. Their decisions can destroy my future. And of course, my predecessor has given me a month to do the impossible or I’ll lose everything that means anything to me.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Hilo confronts his arch enemy Razorwark in this epic graphic novel series that’s “an action-packed page-turner with heart” (Dav Pilkey, author of Dog Man). “A story that can be enjoyed by the entire family.”—The New York Times “A perfect book for any...

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Hilo learns the secrets of his past in this hilarious graphic novel series that’s “an action-packed page-turner with heart” (Dav Pilkey, author of Dog Man). “A story that can be enjoyed by the entire family.”—The New York Times “A perfect book for any...

Twelve-year-old Catherine just wants a normal life. Which is near impossible when you have a brother with autism and a family that revolves around his disability. She's spent years trying to teach David the rules—from "a peach is not a funny-looking apple" to "keep your pants on in public"—in order to stop his embarrassing behaviors. But the summer Catherine meets Jason, a paraplegic boy, and Kristi, the next-door friend she's always wished for, it's her own shocking behavior that turns everything upside down and forces her to ask: What is normal?

Gina must use her magic to restore Earth to its original timeline in this epic New York Times bestselling graphic novel series that’s “an action-packed page-turner with heart” (Dav Pilkey, author of Dog Man). “A story that can be enjoyed by the entire family.”—The New York Times...

While she fights fellow horrors outside the city's walls, her family suffers threats from within them. Yet surely there's no problem power can't solve...and if there's one thing eating souls is good for, it's power.

Casting necromancy without ever learning how to isn't supposed to be possible. A starving orphan girl named Vita is somehow managing it anyway, and she's not sure if this is going to be the solution to her life's problems or a horrifying, spiraling mess of problems she can hardly conceive.

The Mob Squad enters a whole new dimension of danger in this official Minecraft novel! Things are changing in the town of Cornucopia. The mighty wall that kept the townsfolk sealed off from the outside world is wide open, and the world beyond beckons with the promise of new adventures. The Mob...

After a Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader moment, I discovered I do indeed have a father. He comes with a hell of a lot of baggage, but I’ve decided to keep him. Not only do I have a father, I have a kick-ass new sister, a ghostly family, and super powers to boot. If you add to the mix that I’m dating the Grim Reaper, it’s a freakin’ party. The only thing standing in the way of my happiness is the Angel of Mercy, though Angel of Misery is more appropriate. She’s responsible for almost everyone I have loved, and who has loved me, being taken away.

Being 40 is supposed to be freaking fabulous, not fatal. Taking on a daunting new job minus the description isn’t the smartest move I’ve ever made, even if it was to save a friend. Hopefully, it doesn’t turn out to be the stupidest...or deadliest. Why can’t things stay the way they were? I love my old job. Supergluing ghosts back together and solving their issues is its own reward. Not to mention, I’m seriously good at it. Although, I must say, I’m ridiculously excited for the new Death Counselor’s arrival in nine months....