Forgiveness isn’t intended to be a heavy burden for those who have been deeply wronged.  Jesus’ invitation was, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you REST.” (Matthew 11:28-30)  The invitation of the Lord Jesus Christ is to come to Him and find REST for our souls!

Here's the definition of forgiveness: it’s a commitment by the offended to pardon graciously the repentant from moral liability, and to be reconciled — though it doesn’t mean that all consequences are necessarily eliminated.

What’s the hardest part of forgiveness? — To STOP THINKING about the offense; to keep going over and over it in one’s mind.  It’s a huge problem to be thinking about it, because then we’re DEFINED by the wrong committed against us.  Bitterness is like taking poison to get back at someone else.

By the way, this is where we need the Psalms; this is where we need the Psalter.  See Psalm 73 where Asaph is seeing how the wicked prosper, and he seems to have done the right thing for nothing.  If we move through this Psalm, it will change our world.

Steps to be free from bitterness and resentment after divorce, even if your husband has never repented:

1. Wait for God’s justice, and trust His providence.  Think of Joseph in Genesis: “You intended this for evil, but God intended it for good.”  This is why it’s SO CRITICAL to be in a local church with a high view of Scripture.
2. Listen to wise people — you need community!  And you need the community of the Redeemed. 
3. Pursue God’s blessing for yourself and those close to you.  Psalm 73:15 is the turning point of the chapter — “If I had said, ‘I will speak thus,’ I would have betrayed the generation of Your children.”  Also Hebrews 12:15 … “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.”  Bitterness can poison those around us, as well as ourselves!
4. Call bitterness what it is — it’s sin.  It’s not justified.  We don’t have a right to be defined by anger and hatred.  One of the most difficult times to repent of our own transgressions is when we’ve been deeply wronged… it’s a dangerous place to be.  Be careful, when you’re sinned against, that you don’t fail to deal with the things you need to deal with in your own world.

Also important: be in a good church, hear the Word preached, meditate on JESUS — you will NOT be disappointed. 

Please check out Pastor Brauns' book, Unpacking Forgiveness from Crossway: https://www.crossway.org/books/unpacking-forgiveness-tpb/

Visit his website here: https://chrisbrauns.com/

Join our Christ-Dependent Single Motherhood Facebook community, for Christian single moms like you, whether you're divorced, separated, widowed, or never married! https://bit.ly/CDSMFacebook

Send us a note at christdependentsinglemoms@gmail.com

Forgiveness isn’t intended to be a heavy burden for those who have been deeply wronged.  Jesus’ invitation was, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you REST.” (Matthew 11:28-30)  The invitation of the Lord Jesus Christ is to come to Him and find REST for our souls!

Our culture has fundamentally misunderstood forgiveness — we tend to regard it in a therapeutic way, seeing it as a private coping strategy for resentment and anger.  “Forgiveness is something you do for your own benefit,” some say  — but that’s not biblical forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not an emotional strategy; it’s a commitment by the offended to pardon graciously the repentant from moral liability, and to be reconciled — though it doesn’t mean that all consequences are necessarily eliminated.

What  do we do when the offense is grave, as in marriages that end in separation or divorce, and the offender does not display true repentance?  Pastor Brauns offers these principles:

1. Proactively show love — in abusive situations, how this will work out needs the wisdom of the local church.  Don’t do this alone!  There is such a great need for the community of the redeemed; we need that protection.  We do NOT put ourselves in a position to be abused further.  This showing of love will be situation-specific.
2. Take no revenge — "Never take your own revenge, beloved" (Romans 12:19), but
3. "Leave room for the wrath of God"— “Vengeance is Mine; I will repay,” says the Lord.  We can trust God to see that justice is done.

Also, look at Psalm 37 and Psalm 73 when battling bitterness.  We're going to come back next week to revisit this topic!

Please check out Pastor Brauns' book, Unpacking Forgiveness from Crossway: https://www.crossway.org/books/unpacking-forgiveness-tpb/

Visit his website here: https://chrisbrauns.com/

Join our Christ-Dependent Single Motherhood Facebook community, for Christian single moms like you, whether you're divorced, separated, widowed, or never married! https://bit.ly/CDSMFacebook

Send us a note at christdependentsinglemoms@gmail.com

I’m going to be completely honest, I almost didn’t want to talk about what I’m going to talk about today.

A big reason is because this has been such a hard lesson for me to learn.  It has taken so much for me to let go of this issue and leave it in God's hands.

I have wanted, for many years, to retain control of work and money and material provision when it came to taking care of my family following separation and divorce as a Christian single mom. 

But what I have found is that when I have tried, by applying my human wisdom, to almost prayerlessly control my work (whether it was work from home or work outside the home) and my financial circumstances, refusing to completely release these matters to the Lord, things have gone so poorly.  

BUT, when God brought me to the place where I recognized that he knew better than I did exactly what I needed, and that I could absolutely, unreservedly obey God's instruction to "trust in the Lord with all your heart," (Proverbs 3:5-6) to provide for all my needs according to his riches in glory as Philippians 4:19 says, and when I began to affirm my trust in his provision day by day, literally just praying, “I trust in you Lord. I am looking to you to provide the income I need. Please show me the way. I rest in you.” … I have seen a huge weight lifted off and I have seen the faithfulness of Jehovah Jireh in a way that I have never seen before!  Will God provide?  A thousand times, yes!

So let’s talk about this matter — can we trust our heavenly Father to provide for us financially? (HINT: YES) Praying you are edified by these devotional thoughts!

Scriptures quotes in this episode:

• 2 Corinthians 9:8
• Matthew 6:31-32
• Matthew 6:33
• Psalm 34:10
• Philippians 4:6
• James 1:5
• Colossians 3:23-24
• Psalm 139:16

Join our Christ-Dependent Single Motherhood Facebook community, for Christian single moms like you, whether you're divorced, separated, widowed, or never married! https://bit.ly/CDSMFacebook

Send us a note at christdependentsinglemoms@gmail.com